


if i could turn back time (i'll go wherever you will go)

by divinelouis



Series: this feels like falling in love [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abuse (Louis gets pushed), Accidental Bonding, Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Break Up, Drug Use, Famous Harry, Fluff, Happy Ending, Knotting, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Louis, Ordinary Louis, Triggers, only for a little bit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-09-28
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:11:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2370587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divinelouis/pseuds/divinelouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry stumbled forward. When he caught his footing he looked at Louis with a confused expression.  </p><p>"Don't think that we're just going to ignore what happened," Louis said.</p><p>Harry looked him dead in the eye then and it was with a shock that Louis realized he looked completely sober. No drugs or alcohol flowing through his veins.</p><p>"Lou, it's not that big of a deal."</p><p>"What?" Louis exclaimed. "Not that big of a deal? Harry, you pushed me. To the ground, might I add."</p><p>--</p><p>Louis can't handle drug-induced Harry anymore and breaks up with him and Harry wants to fix it, but there's a surprise along the way</p>
            </blockquote>





	if i could turn back time (i'll go wherever you will go)

**Author's Note:**

> Despite this being A/B/O, there are no heats or ruts in this fic. There are two sex scenes though.
> 
> Louis also nests while pregnant, and if you don't know what that is, it's explained in the story at one point, so don't fret. 
> 
> There are multiple drugs used in this story and there is mpreg, so if that's not your cup of tea, then leave now.
> 
> There will also be a part 2 :)
> 
> *May be triggering in some places*

As Louis walked into his large, shared flat, he was instantly engulfed in a large amount of smoke. He gagged on the smell of the marijuana before instantly frowning. He cut his sight to the living room where he found Harry sitting on the couch with a blunt in his hand, Zayn by his side.

Annoyance instantly flared up inside Louis. It wasn't the first time Louis had seen Harry in this state. It wasn't even the first time this week or this day. Louis had probably seen Harry high more than he had seen him sober.

He was slightly relieved that it was only marijuana this time, as opposed the heroin he was highly addicted to. Louis hated how much it interfered with Harry's Alpha smell. Louis was positive he'd never smelled his true, pure smell. The drug was always clouding the alluring scent that Louis could faintly smell. He sighed before he pulled off his jacket and hung it up on the coat rack next to the door. He toed off his shoes next and then walked toward the kitchen. His footsteps must have been louder than he thought because they caught Harry's attention and he looked over at Louis.

"Louis," he drawled out slowly, "when did you get home?"

Louis' expression instantly hardened as he looked back at his boyfriend. "Just now. Why?"

Harry's eyebrows furrowed at the tone of Louis' voice and he stood up. He stumbled a little, his motor skills off in his drug-induced haze. Louis crossed his arms as Harry approached him and he took a step back instinctively. "Hello, baby."

Harry's voice came out in a whisper and Louis rolled his eyes. "Hello."

By now Harry was within inches of Louis and he stretched out his arms and grabbed Louis' waist, pulling him to his body. Louis' body instinctively fell into Harry's, because no matter how much Harry's drug addiction made him absolutely livid, he still loved the boy with all his heart, and he still held the comfort an Omega sought from an Alpha.

He sighed has Harry's arms wrapped around his waist tightly. Louis laid his head against Harry's chest and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist in return. "I missed you," Harry mumbled into Louis' hair. Louis could feel Harry nosing in his hair, most likely scenting him, checking for any abnormalities. It was an everyday routine now and it had never bothered Louis before. Now, however, he wished Harry would just stop.

"Yeah," he replied quietly.

Harry pulled back slightly and looked at Louis quizzically, clearly confused by his tone. "What?"

"Well, clearly you didn't miss me that much. With all your drugs, how could you?" Harry pushed Louis further away and his somewhat loving expression was rapidly being replaced with anger. As Louis got further from Harry's hand, Harry got angrier. Louis could see the emotions flying through Harry's eyes as more seconds passed. With one final spark, Harry gave Louis a large shove that sent him sprawling to the ground.

A shocked expression overcame Louis. "Fuck you," Harry growled. "I can do whatever I want."

Louis pushed himself up from the ground. He was absolutely fuming now. It was becoming a common occurrence for Harry to push Louis around, but he had never shoved him before. "You know what Harry, fuck _you._ I'm not dealing with this anymore. I'll see you later, and hopefully you'll be in a right state of mind."

He stormed over to the door, slipping on his shoes and grabbing his coat and keys. He opened the door hurriedly as Harry screamed obscenities at him. He slammed the door shut behind him as tears pooled in his eyes. Louis willed them not to fall as he simultaneously got into his car and pulled out his phone.

Sticking the keys in the engine, the car started and he peeled out of his parking space and sped down the road. He unlocked his phone as he drove through the streets toward the heart of London. Pulling up his contacts, he searched for Liam's name and clicked on it when he found it.

Louis put the phone to his ear as it started ringing.

Tears were still gathered in his eyes and it was getting harder to hold them back.

" _Hello?_ "

"He pushed me," Louis sobbed. That simple sentence had the tears streaming down his face. He could no longer see, his vision severely blurred. He barely saw the truck coming at him in time, but he quickly swerved back into the correct lane before pulling over. His chest started to ache and he could vaguely hear Liam calling his name through the phone. His heart was racing and his chest felt tight. Louis was sure he had never felt this upset in his entire life.

"Liam," Louis cried. "I-I can't, Liam, _help me_."

" _Louis,_ " Liam consoled, " _I need you to listen to me. Listen carefully. You'll be okay. Where are you? I'm going to come get you._ "

Louis looked at his surroundings that were still blurred by his tears, but he could slightly make out a sign that said Tesco in front of him. "Tesco parking lot," he whispered through his sobs.

" _Be there in ten,_ " Liam responded before hanging up. Louis drops his phone, not at all caring where it fell. He gripped the steering wheel tightly and banged his forehead against it. Louis figured the pain would distract him, but it did nothing of the sort, only proving to make his head hurt even more than it already was. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head back and forth as tears continued to fall.

Louis didn't know how long he sat there like that, but he jumped when he heard the sudden knocking on his window next to him. He looked up at the window through swollen eyes and choked on a sob when he saw Liam standing there with a sympathetic look on his face.

Louis wiped his eyes and unlocked the car. Liam was quick to walk around to the passenger side door and get in. He reached over and pried Louis' hand from the steering wheel and held it in his own.

"Lou, what happened?"

Louis looked away, out the window. However, he knew Liam could see his reflection and the small stream of tears that started to fall all over again. "He pushed me," he whispered so quietly he wasn't even sure Liam could hear him.

"Yeah," Liam agreed. "You already established that. Elaborate please."

Louis looked down, pondering what to say before looking Liam in the eyes. "I came home... and he was sitting on the couch with Zayn and he was high, go figure. Some stuff just happened and then he got angry."

"Angry enough to shove you?" Liam asked.

"To the ground," Louis continued.

Liam was silent for a few minutes as Louis started to sober up slightly. No more tears were falling; however, he was still shaking with sobs. He leaned into Liam who wrapped his arm around Louis' shoulder without a second thought. Louis wasn't sure Liam was going to say anything at all as more time passed when he suddenly spoke up. "Louis."

"Don't say it," Louis pleaded. He didn't want to hear it. He knew the exact words that would come out of Liam's mouth.

"Louis," Liam began again. "You can't keep doing this to yourself. It's not healthy, your relationship with him." Louis sighed and pulled away from Liam's embrace. He looked down at his hands as he started playing with his fingers, a nervous habit he had.

"I love him though. We're not even bonded, yet I love him so much it hurts."

Liam let out a slight groan and grabbed one of Louis' hands in his. "I know you do, Lou. I really do know, but-"

"No!" Louis exclaimed. "You don't know, because if you did, you wouldn't be telling me this!"

"Louis,-"

"You're not an Alpha, not one in a relationship at least, or an Omega. You don't understand the connection," Louis interrupted. He paused before continuing, "Have you ever been in love?"

"No."

"Then you don't know what it's like to love someone with everything you have. Love is when you always want to be together, and when you're not, you're thinking about being together because you need that person and without them, your life feels incomplete. It's when you trust the other with your life; when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone, you want nothing more than for them to be really happy—no matter what it takes, because their needs come before your own. It's when they're the last thing you think about before you go to sleep—the first thing you think of when you wake up. Love is giving someone the power to destroy you, and trusting them not to. When they're with you, your heart races. When they touch you, you get butterflies in your stomach. When you kiss, it just takes your breath away. It's when you can't get the smile off your face. You feel like you've been touched by an angel. You look down on everybody else because you think that they can't possibly feel what you're feeling. Love is everything you could ever want."

Liam stared at Louis completely speechless as Louis started crying again. Saying all that to Liam just made him realize that he doesn't have most of those things anymore. Liam seemed to be thinking the same thing because his next words pierced Louis' heart. "Do you trust him with your life? Better yet, do you trust him at all?"

There was a pregnant pause before Louis replied. "Yes,"

"You hesitated."

Louis threw his hands in the air and got out of the car. Liam followed him and came around to him, touching his arm. "This is awful!" Louis exclaimed. "I don't know what to do, Liam."

"It might be time to let go, LouLou."

"I know," Louis whispered. "I just don't think I can actually do it."

Liam lightly squeezed his arm. "Do what's in your best interest, Louis. Always."

Louis was about to reply when he heard a car screech to a halt behind him. He turned slightly, seeing Harry's black Camaro being turned off. Harry got out, his actions molasses like which quickly indicated that his high was still around.

Louis didn't see any sign of Zayn as Harry closed the door and approached Louis and Liam. Liam was still gripping Louis' arm, and they were standing extremely close. From an outsiders perspective it could look like they had just finished kissing. To Harry, that's what he saw.

" _What_?" he growled out. Louis could instantly hear the low rumble coming from Harry, and he pulled away from Liam hastily and then opened his car door. Before he could move any further, a hand was coming around and slamming the door shut. Louis looked up, blinking away tears, as Harry's other hand grabbed his elbow, twisting him around and pushing him against the car.

Harry crowded him and opened his mouth to speak when Liam intervened. "Harry, is this really necessary?"

Harry snarled viciously and turned his glare toward Liam as he narrowed his eyes further. "This doesn't include you, bye."

Louis, fed up, placed his hands on Harry's chest and pushed him as hard as he could. Even in his current state, Harry was a lot stronger than Louis and the push only made him stumble slightly. However, Louis used the opportunity to get into his car and start it. "Louis!"

Louis could hear the anger radiating through Harry's voice, but he ignored it. "I'll see you later, Harry. Just leave me alone."

"No," Harry disagreed.

He looked as though he was about to say more, but Liam gripped his arm and pulled him away from the car. That small move gave Louis enough room to peel out of the parking lot and down the street.

He could see from his rearview mirror that Harry was yelling a Liam, his hands flying all over the place. Louis reached up with one hand to wipe away the tears falling from his eyes still. Once finished, he gripped the steering wheel hard as he pressed a little harder on the gas. He didn't know where he was going, he just knew it wouldn't, or couldn't, be home.

Once he made it onto the motorway, his body sagged with relief. He was lucky Harry hadn't used his Alpha voice on him, or he'd have had complete control over where Louis went and what he did. He shouldn't have expected it though, because Harry had never used his Alpha voice on Louis. He didn't ever deem it necessary. No matter how high or drunk he was, he never did it.

That was one thing Louis admired about Harry. That and his ability to achieve what he wanted. Louis shook his head before he could get completely distracted by the things he loved about Harry, which would make him turn around and go back to him. Instead, he focused on the long stretch of road ahead of him, body tight.

Two hours later, Louis had decided he would go to his mum's house for the night and now he was only fifteen minutes away from her house. The first hour of the drive had been nauseating because his phone had kept going off. It hadn't stopped ringing, Harry hadn't stopped calling.

Louis had noticed that a few of the calls had been from Liam, but he had ignored those also.

Finally, after his phone had rung for the sixteenth time, he turned it off and the last hour of the drive had been completed in absolute silence, only his thoughts to listen to.

After another fifteen minutes, he finally pulled into the driveway of his childhood home. He smiled slightly at all the flowers out front, knowing his mom had spent a lot of time on them despite all the kids she had to look after on a daily basis. He turned off the car and pulled the keys from the ignition before getting out and locking the door.

He knocked on the door before he realized that this was his old house and he could just walk in. However, when he reached for the doorknob the door was already being swung open and his seventeen year old sister was standing on the other side of the threshold.

"Louis!" she exclaimed.

He smiled weakly. "Hey, Lotts."

"Come in, why did you knock? What are you doing here? How's Harry? Why isn't he-"

Louis held his hand up and she immediately shut her mouth. "God, Lottie, stop with the third degree. I just came for a visit alone, is that alright with you?"

She rolled her eyes as his mother walked into the foyer. Her eyes widened when she landed on her first born and she scuttled over quickly and wrapped him up in a big, warm hug. "Oh, my baby!"

"Hi, mummy," Louis replied in a soft voice, returning her hug. By that time, Lottie had walked away, presumably going upstairs to her room.

His mum pulled away from the hug and dragged him into the living room and gently pushed him onto the couch. She stood straight again before saying, "I'm going to make tea and then we're going to talk about what has my son all upset."

She hurried off and Louis sighed. He should have known his mother would know something was wrong the minute he walked in the door. He looked around the room as he waited for his mother to return. He could see all the pictures she had displayed around the room, many old and many new. He felt his heart drop when he saw a picture of him and Harry on the fireplace mantle. He stood up quickly and walked over to it.

He picked up the frame and brought it closer to him. The picture was a few years old. Two maybe. It was at a family gathering in the summer and they were outside in the backyard. Harry was laying in the grass on his back, one arm tucked behind his head. Louis was laying on his side, pressed up against Harry with his head resting on his chest. Louis had his eyes closed with a small, content smile on his face. Harry was looking down at Louis with fond eyes, his love clear.

It was taken with Louis' professional camera, Lottie had stolen it for the picture.

The picture was one of Louis' favorites and always made him smile, but now it just reminded him of what they used to be and what they are now.

He vaguely heard his mum placing cups on the table and he quickly put the frame back on the mantle and walked back over to the couch. His mum was already sitting, looking at him pointedly as he took his seat again.

"So," she began. "What happened?"

His mum knew the entire story by now. How Harry treated Louis sometimes, Harry's drug addiction, and all the intimate details of their rocky relationship. Louis looked down as he spoke, ashamed. "He pushed me today. The hardest he's ever pushed me. He was high. Of course he was high. Not that I'm saying that's an excuse, but still. He got mad because I was reserved in my speech, I was mad that he was high _again_."

"Oh, Lou," she frowned.

"I know, mummy. I know what you're going to say. Liam said it too. I just don't know how. I don't know how I can do it. He'll be heartbroken. He'll be mad." Jay looked as though she was about the interrupt, so Louis quickly continued. "Don't say he won't be heartbroken. He might treat me like shit sometimes or a lot of the time, but I know he loves me. I know that for an absolute fact."

"Maybe he loves you, but he doesn't love you right. Is all this pain worth it? Is all this heartache worth it? Are all the tears worth it?"

Louis hiccuped as his eyes filled with tears for what felt like the millionth time that day. He didn't answer her right away, just cried silently while she sat there with a comforting hand on his thigh. He didn't know how long he sat there with his mum in silence thinking about what she asked. It could have been hours, it could have been minutes. Time seemed to be moving at a slower pace the longer Louis sat there and thought through the last three year of his life. What had gone wrong. What had changed. Finally, after a while, he replied.

"No, it's not."

**\-----**

When Louis wakes up, he momentarily forgets where he is and panics, thinking something bad had happened. Once his mind settles, however, he realizes he's just in his old bedroom at his mum's house. He closes his eyes briefly before he opens them back up and looks at the clock on his desk that is placed on the other side of the room. It's afternoon by this point and he decides he should get up, say goodbye to his family, and make his way back to his and Harry's flat to face the fight that will ultimately break out.

He figured it'd take Harry approximately thirty seconds before he started yelling in his deep Alpha timber about how irresponsible and negligent Louis was last night. 

He goes to check his phone when he suddenly remembers that it's still off and it's still in his car. He swears under his breath before shoving the blankets away from him and hurrying out of the room. He thumps down the stairs and notices all of his sisters and his mum in the living room watching something on the telly.

The innocence radiates throughout the room and it reminds Louis of a simpler time. Before everything got so damn complicated. It reminds of him the time in his life before Harry became a permanent fixture. It reminds him that his life shouldn't be this problematic. And he secretly wishes for his sisters to never have to go through what he currently is. He wants them to fall in love easy. Fall in love with a perfect, smart, mature, and loving guy that will treat them right.

He wants them to have what he doesn't.

After conversing with them for a few moments, he finally said he had to go.

"Be safe, Lou," his mum said pointedly. He nodded in agreement and hugged her and all his sisters. He slipped his shoes on at the door before grabbing his keys and jacket from the table in the foyer before he left.

When he gets in his car and drives off, nerves settle in his stomach. He looks around and examines all the cars on the road before he reaches for his phone and turns it on with a shaking finger. He sets it on his thigh and waits for it to power on while he continues to drive, back tense. After about thirty seconds of him anticipating the amount of vibrations he's about the feel, his phone finally comes on and immediately starts vibrating.

He doesn't dare to look down at the screen, afraid of what he'll see.

The vibrations don't stop for what feels like hours, but in actuality is only two minutes. Once it stops, Louis lets out a long, shuddering breath. He decides he still won't look at his phone, he'll just wait until he gets home. He sticks to that plan for approximately thirty minutes before curiosity and nervousness get the best of him and he pulls off at the nearest McDonald's to inspect the damage.

Once he parks and turns off his car, he grabs his phone, unlocking it without looking at what's on the lock screen. When he looks at the screen for the first time, he sees that he has thirty-eight missed calls and twenty-two text messages. He knows that all of them are from Harry except maybe a few that are from Liam.

He goes for the texts first and his suspicions are proved correct when he sees Liam and Harry's names with blue dots next to them. He opened Liam's first because he felt the damage would be less. There were only five.

_Louis, everything will be alright._

_Where did you go?_

_Lou, at least tell me where you went._

_Why aren't you answering me!!!!_

_LOUIS_

Louis rolled his eyes and replied with a quick "I'm fine" and then moved out of Liam's messages. He stared at Harry's contact. He could only see the last message like this.

 _Please_.

That's all it read. Louis had no idea what it meant. He had no idea what the other sixteen messages said. He knew he wouldn't read them all, but he was curious to know what some of them said. He gripped the phone tightly as he clicked on Harry's name. He scrolled up a little to read, but ended up scrolling up to the first one.

_Come back to the house now._

_Where the hell did you go?_

_You need to come back right now, Louis._

_I'm not kidding._

_Please, Lou._

From there the messages started getting more desperate and Louis clenched his other hand into a white-knuckled grip.

_Please come home, baby._

_Louis, please come home, we need to talk about this._

_Lou, I need you, please._

_I love you._

_I'm sorry for what happened. Liam gave me a right yelling to._

The next five all read the same thing: "I love you." At the end was the one he already knew was there. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the seat. He counted down from one-hundred trying to will himself not to cry again. He didn't think he had enough strength or tears left to cry. Instead, he looked back at his phone and opened the phone app. It turned out that only twenty-four out of the thirty-eight were calls and the rest were voicemails. Only two of the voicemails were from Liam. He deleted them instantly, already knowing what they were going to say.

He had a general idea of what Harry's would say, but he listened to them all anyway. They all just vocalized what he had said in the text messages. The ones towards the end had Louis thinking Harry sounded tired. After he was done, he put his phone back in the cup-holder and started his car back up.

He didn't want to give himself time to think through what he should do because he knew he would end up going back to his mother's.

When he arrived back to his and Harry's flat almost two hours later, he could feel the nerves building back up in his stomach. When he got into the elevator, the butterflies started. When he got to their door, he felt nauseated. He was about the open the door, but as soon as his hand touched the knob, the door was swinging open. Harry was on the other side, but before Louis could get a good visual, he was being pulled into Harry's body by Harry himself.

Harry's nose immediately went to Louis' neck and he inhaled deeply, looking for anything that may have tarnished Louis' sweet smell. His hands were simultaneously roaming Louis' body, checking for anything that was out of place. When he didn't find anything, he pulled back and looked Louis in the eyes. He moved his hands to Louis' face and started to lean in, but before their lips could come in contact Louis moved out of the way.

Harry stumbled forward. When he caught his footing he looked at Louis with a confused expression.  

"Don't think that we're just going to ignore what happened," Louis said.

Harry looked him dead in the eye then and it was with a shock that Louis realized he looked completely sober. No drugs or alcohol flowing through his veins.

"Lou, it's not that big of a deal."

" _What?_ " Louis exclaimed. "Not that big of a deal? Harry, you _pushed_ me. _To the ground_ , might I add."

Harry rolled his eyes, but had the decency to look somewhat sheepish. "Baby, I was high. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't mean it."

"You always say that," Louis shot back. "Always. Well, I'm through with you pushing me around. It's very rare to see you anything but high or drunk anymore. That's not okay. It's like I don't even know you anymore."

"Louis," Harry began. "Can we please just forgot this happened? I won't do it again. I don't want to spend my last night with you fighting." Louis' eyes widened and Harry paled, instantly realizing what he said wasn't a good thing. Multiple scenarios flew through Louis' head at what Harry could have possibly meant.

"What?"

Harry sighed and walked into the kitchen area and sat on a stool. He put his head in his hands before looking back up at Louis."I got the call last night. I need to go to America for about a week for some promo."

"A week?" Louis asked breathlessly. "That means you'll only be back for two days before you have to leave again for your tour. What the hell, Harry." Louis couldn't believe this. Before he'd walked in the door, he hadn't known what he was going to do about his and Harry's relationship. Hearing this though, it tore him apart.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."

"No, you don't. I know you can't wait to go. I know you can't wait to be away from your clingy, emotional Omega," Louis replied, chest tight. He wasn't exactly sure where the words were coming from, but he realized he wouldn't take them back if he had the chance.

" _What_?" Harry choked out. "You can't honestly believe I want that!" The exasperation was clear in Harry's voice as he stared at Louis. Louis wasn't looking at him though. He refused to make eye contact with Harry. His heart was in pieces and the only one who could fix it was the one ripping it apart.

"I don't know what to believe anymore," Louis whispered. He took a long pause. The tension was thick, Harry wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know if _Louis_ would say anything, but then finally: "Get out."

"Louis! Honestly, you're being a little bit over-dramatic about this. I mean _c'mon._ You can't really think I want to go? Why would I want to be anywhere else except right here with you?" Harry's voice had a desperate, but highly flustered tone to it. He had never in a million years thought Louis would turn this around on him.

Louis sobbed. "It just doesn't sound like you put up much of a fight anymore. I don't want to be in a relationship that won't be fought for."

" _Are you fucking kidding me_?" Harry stood up, but quickly sat back down again. He was overwhelmed with everything Louis was saying. "Do you hear yourself right now? Louis, in the past three years, have I ever once seemed that I didn't want to spend every waking second with you? I would give up this stardom in a heartbeat if it meant that I'd be with you every single day. I love my job, I really do, but I love you more. I'll never love anything more than I love you. How can you not believe me?"

Louis looked at his feet and repeated in a gentle whisper, "I don't know what to believe anymore." He pushed off the counter he was leaning on, brushing past Harry. He entered the empty living room before continuing on down the hallway. He could hear Harry's footsteps following him. He stepped into their bedroom and turned towards the doorway immediately. Harry came into view as soon as Louis gripped the door.

Louis didn't make eye contact with Harry as he whispered, "I'm done."

"Done?" Harry echoed. "Lou—wh-what do you mean? You mean-,"

"I want to break-up. I can't do it anymore." He closed the door. He vaguely heard a thud against the thick wood, and he brought a hand up to his heart as he let out a gut wrenching sob. He never thought he'd go through something like this with Harry. He thought they'd be forever. He never imagined that he'd break-up with him.

He fell face down onto the bed as his chest became heavy with a compressing weight.

Harry had tears streaming down his face. He didn't know the last time he had cried this hard. However, the love of his life had just broken up with him because he couldn't handle Harry's lifestyle anymore. It was as if a sudden epiphany came over Harry as he realized all the awful things he had done to Louis, all the stuff he'd put him through.

He saw the last three years flash through his mind in recession, saw all the rude and terrible things he said to Louis, all the terrible shit he had put him through, at home and in the media. It was like he suddenly felt all the nights he was laying with Louis pressed to his chest, all the nights where Louis was trembling with cries that Harry pretending he couldn't hear or feel. The realization cut through his body like a knife and he sucked in a large, painful breath.

Harry stood straighter and reached for the key that was on the top of the door. Once he gripped it, he pushed it into the lock and opened the door. He replaced the key and then walked into the room. He saw Louis and he immediately felt guilty. He walked over to the bed slowly, and when he reached the side, he sank onto it silently. He was determined to make things better because he wasn't going to lose Louis. Not like this. Not right now. Not ever. Not because of stupid and irresponsible mistakes he had made in the past. He was going to try to get better.

Harry was going to fix it, he had to.

When Louis didn't react, however, Harry sidled up beside him. He clutched onto the small Omega's body, and when he heard him let out a low whine followed by a sob, Harry's heart broke. He always told himself he would never hurt his baby, but here they were, Louis crying because of Harry.

His inner Alpha scolded him. How dare he upset his Omega. He was supposed to protect him, cherish him, and most importantly: love him.

"Louis, we can work through this. I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I love you. This," he paused. He didn't know what to say without sounding completely broken. "This can't be it. We're a forever kind of thing. I need you. Please, baby. I need you more than you could possibly know. I love you. I love you so much it hurts. You're all I want, for the rest of my life."

Louis let out another high pitched whine. This one however made Harry stiffen and growl, looking around the room for a potential threat before looking back at his boy. Louis pushed back into him and purred and Harry gripped him tighter. Louis had produced an Alpha whine. Harry's chest rumbled in return, deep affection for his Omega consuming him completely.

Harry felt protective instantly and rolled Louis onto his back before clambering on top of him in a possessive manner. Louis let out the whine again and Harry growled lowly as Louis gripped onto his shirt. The whine was a call for protection and affection from an Alpha. It was enough to stop any near-by Alpha in his tracks when he heard it.

When Harry didn't look at Louis, Louis scratched lightly at Harry's chest.

Harry turned his gaze towards Louis and felt his eyes soften at the desperation in Louis' eyes. Louis then rutted up against Harry which made Harry retaliate by pushing his hips down and pinning Louis' to the mattress.

"Please," Louis whispered, begging. It had been so long since him and Harry had been intimate with each other. Maybe it wasn't a good idea, because Louis already knew that once Harry was gone, he was going to leave, but he was an Omega. He craved attention and praise from an Alpha and despite everything that had happened, he still loved Harry to the moon and back.

Harry nodded. "Yeah, baby."

Harry pushed down against Louis again and Louis could immediately feel slick starting to produce from him. He moaned and then pulled at Harry's shirt, signaling him to take it off. Harry pulled back from Louis and started to take off his shirt and followed with his jeans and pants. Louis did the same and within seconds they were both naked and Harry was laying between Louis' open legs.

Louis moaned when Harry reached a finger down to circle around Louis' hole. Harry let out a low growl when he felt the slick that was slowly leaking out of Louis and he roughly rutted down against Louis again.

"No teasing, please," Louis got out breathlessly. "Just want you inside me."

Harry moaned. "Fuck, yeah, Lou. Going to fill you up real good."

Louis whimpered as Harry pushed his knees towards his chest, exposing him completely. Harry leaned down and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes and looked at Louis, he could see that his eyes were glazed and lust filled. Louis' chest tightened in anticipation at the look Harry was giving him and he felt a fresh wave of arousal run through his body. "Smell so good, baby. So wet for me. So ready for my knot."

Louis cried out and gripped Harry's hair at the words, and Harry licked at his rim, catching a large amount of Louis' slick on his tongue and swallowing it, before he moved back up Louis' body. Louis opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around Harry's neck. "Please, Harry. Need you."

Harry didn't respond, he just shoved two fingers into Louis' leaking hole. Louis arched his back and moaned loudly. Harry buried his face in Louis' neck and inhaled his scent. He moved his fingers in and out of Louis quickly, scissoring them every once in a while to stretch Louis out. When Harry unexpectedly added a third finger, Louis scratched down his back roughly and clenched as tight as he could around the intrusion.

"Fuck, Lou," Harry groaned. "Love when you mark me."

Louis smirked and scratched at Harry again. This caused Harry to rip his fingers from Louis and line his cock up with Louis' hole.. The loudest moan of the night ripped from Louis' mouth at finally being full of his Alpha's cock when Harry sunk in quickly. Harry groaned around the tight heat of Louis and opened his mouth, breathy grunts coming out as he moved in and out of Louis at a fast pace. The drag felt blissful to Louis as Harry moved. Harry's hand found Louis' hips and his hold tightened significantly when Louis responded with a grunt of approval.

Louis moved his grip to Harry's biceps and screamed when Harry changed his angle slightly, hitting Louis' prostate. "Fuck, baby. Missed you. Missed you so much, I was a wreck without you last night. Didn't know where you were, didn't know if you were hurt," he paused to moan as Louis clenched around him. "God, fuck. Missed your body. Missed your mouth. Your hole, yeah, missed your hole so much. Love being inside you. Love wrecking you. Love making you cum."

Louis whined and mouthed at Harry's shoulder, not saying anything. "I love you," Harry whispered.

"Love you," Louis whimpered back. He could feel Harry's knot growing, catching against his rim on every thrust. He wasn't making sounds anymore, just laying with his mouth wide open, the sensation of Harry's knot too much for him. Louis forgot how good it felt to have a knot in him, his toys not producing the feeling for him. He felt light-headed and weightless as Harry kept moving his hips roughly, trying to bring both of them to their orgasms.

Harry growled loudly and pushed inside Louis one final time, his knot popping instantly. Louis cried out and came hard at the feeling of finally being completely full. He could feel Harry's cum pumping into him continuously and he sighed at the feeling. It had been too long, and Louis wasn't sure how he would cope without it in the future months. He knew that no matter what, nothing would ever compare to Harry. Nothing would be even somewhat equivalent.

Harry moved them around as best he could with his knot still in Louis until they were spooning. Louis instantly felt his eyes drooping shut. He was abnormally tired for only having woke up four hours before. He wasn't about the fight it though, too comfortable to care that nothing was right with his and Harry's situation. He heard Harry mumble something, but he didn't know what exactly he said as he fell asleep.

**\-----**

When Louis groggily opened his eyes, he noticed that it was pitch black in the room. He also noticed the absence of a body next to his as he rolled over. He looked around his and Harry's bedroom trying to spot the tall Alpha. When he didn't see him, he stood up with the sheet still wrapped around his naked body. He exited the room and walked down the hall towards the living room. When he got there, he saw Harry sitting on the couch staring blankly at the telly.

The second thing he noticed was the empty syringe on the table. He knew then that Harry had shot up. He should have expected it. As a heroin addict, Harry couldn't go long without having a fix before he would start to shake. Louis had witnessed it a few times and it had been some of the worst moments of his life. Not that he wanted Harry to be high, but seeing him start to shake was also scary.

Louis stomped into the room and grabbed the syringe off the table. "Fuck you," he seethed.

Harry looked at him with an expression Louis couldn't define, but he didn't like it at all. He took a timid step back before turning and scurrying out of the room. He grabbed the key off the top of the guest room door frame and walked in before locking the door behind him. As he laid down on the unfamiliar bed, he came to the realization that that may have been the last time he would see Harry for a very long time. The last time he'd see him as something other than a person he used to date.

When he finally comprehended what his mind was saying, he started crying again, harder than he'd ever cried before. Sobs wracked his body and he was shaking on the bed. He felt as though he couldn't breathe and the pillow beneath him was slowly getting soaked with his tears. He pulled the sheets tighter around him and pushed his face into the pillow.

He stayed like that for hours, the tears never subsiding. He didn't know what time it was, but when he opened his eyes for the first time in hours, he saw light coming through the blinds. He could also hear the doorknob to the guest room being moved, but he wasn't worried because he knew Harry wouldn't be able to get in.

"Lou," he heard him say, voice low.

Louis didn't reply, he stayed silent and watched the shadows under the door, waiting for Harry to leave.

"Lou, baby, please open the door."

Louis turned his face into the pillow again and took in a shuddering breath. He heard a fist hit the door lightly followed by what he assumed was Harry's forehead, but he couldn't be too sure. "I love you, Lou. More than you'll ever be able to comprehend. I'll be back for you."

The finality in Harry's tone sent a shock through Louis and he almost got up to open the door, but he made himself stay put, knowing that in the end it wouldn't be a good idea.

He heard Harry walk away and his steps were followed by the sound of wheels. It was then that Louis realized that Harry was leaving. He was probably going to get in the back of a big, black vehicle that was going to then go pick up Zayn, Niall, and Josh and then he was going to go to airport and fly to America and out of Louis' life forever. He had to physically hold himself back. He latched on to the headboard to steady himself and repeated to himself to not go out there, that it was a bad idea.

When he heard the front door close, he waited ten minutes before he finally got out of the bed. He left the sheet there and put the key back where it belonged. He went into his and Harry's, soon to be just Harry's, room and changed into new clothes, deciding to skip over taking a shower for now.

Once dressed, Louis went outside to his car to grab his phone. He hadn't bothered to bring it into the house with him the previous day. When he tried to check it, he realized it was dead, so he went inside and plugged it into his charger that was in the kitchen. Instead, he picked up the house phone and dialed Liam's number.

While he was waiting for Liam to pick up, he started to prepare a bowl of cereal for himself.

He was just grabbing the milk from the fridge when Liam answered. " _Hello? Louis?_ "

"Yeah," Louis replied.

" _What's up?_ " Liam asked, his voice worried.

Louis clenched his eyes shut as he replied. "I need your help."

**\-----**

One day later and Louis was officially moved out of what was now just Harry's apartment. He was currently moved in with Liam for the time being. He didn't have plans on staying there long, it was just that he had nowhere to go at the moment. Louis had insisted they could wait a few days until he found a place to live, but Liam was adamant he move out as soon as physically possible.

Liam had shown up a mere two hours later with a moving truck and a bunch of boxes.

Louis didn't have much to take with him considering his wasn't taking any furniture and barely anything other than clothes. They had him moved out fully seven hours later and he had unpacked a little in Liam's spare bedroom, now deemed Louis' room, and then had fallen asleep almost instantly.

It was the next morning now and Louis and Liam were sitting in the living room watching the morning news while eating the waffles Liam had made for breakfast.

"Thank you, Liam," Louis said softly after he swallowed his latest bite.

Liam looked over at him and his expression softened as he put his plate down and moved closer to Louis. He took Louis' plate from him and put it down too before he wrapped Louis up in arms and rocked him back and forth gently. Louis started to cry and gripped the sides of Liam's sweatshirt in a shaking grip.

"Oh, Lou. It'll be okay This is good for you. It'll help you. You don't need someone like him in your life. He was a bad influence." Louis could tell Liam was just trying to be reassuring but all it did was break Louis' heart more.

"Maybe he was bad for me, but in my mind all the good times out-weighed the bad. All his loving moments pushed the bad under the rug. Liam, I love him so much. I know I shouldn't, he didn't treat me how I should be treated, but shit, he's so perfect in other ways. He's beautiful, he's sweet, and he knows how to show his love."

"Louis," Liam scolded.

Louis pulled away and looked out the window. "He was, Liam. Maybe not so much now, but in the beginning."

"You mean before you knew he smoked marijuana and shot up heroin?"

Louis roughly pushed Liam away and stood up suddenly. "God, Liam! You make it sound like no matter what he did, good or bad, all his actions were wrong because he was a drug addict. Yeah, maybe he does smoke marijuana, maybe he does shoot up heroin on a daily basis, but he's still sweet. He's still one of the most lovely people I've ever come to know. After everything he's gone through, he deserves some credit for not being an absolute asshole."

"He's not an absolute asshole, no," Liam agreed. "However, he is a massive one. The only time he was nice or loving was when he was sober. He probably doesn't even remember a good two-thirds of your relationship because he was so drug induced most of the time."

Louis didn't know what to say, because he knew Liam was right. He just didn't want to admit it because that would make Louis seem stupid. It would make him look desperate and naive for sticking with someone who was bad for him. He thought Harry and him were forever though, because he did love Harry. And he knew deep down that he would always love Harry to some extent.

Then again, he knew he needed to move on. He needed to find someone better for him. He needed to find an Alpha that would treat him in the best way. However, he also knew that wouldn't be happening for a while. It would be hard to get over Harry in general, but with him being an international rock star and his face being all over the media, Louis knew it was going to be ten times harder.

Louis sighed and looked back at Liam. "This might very well be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. Getting over him won't be easy."

Liam gave him a sad smile. "No, it won't. There will be times when all you want to do is call him up or have him hold you, but you have to be strong. This is the best thing for you right now."

"He's going to be so upset," Louis whispered, picking at a loose thread on the shirt he was wearing. "He's going to be so upset when he comes home and sees all my stuff gone. I told him I wanted to break-up on Friday when I got home. We ended up having sex, so I don't think he thinks it's final. Of course, I never exactly finalized it."

"It'll be alright, LouLou. I promise," Liam consoled.

"Yeah."

**\-----**

After six days at Liam's, it was the day Harry was supposed to return home. Louis was extremely nervous because Harry had been trying to contact him a lot and Louis had been adamantly ignoring him. He hadn't answered any of his texts or phone calls. Louis even ignored a few texts from Niall and Zayn, who he assumed was actually Harry on their phones.

It was late in the afternoon by now and Louis wasn't sure when Harry would be getting back, but he figured it would be sometime soon and then he'd be calling Louis frantically, more than he already was. His phone had been silent for the last ten hours though, so Louis knew he was at least on the plane.

An hour later, Louis was sitting at the island in Liam's kitchen eating macaroni and cheese when his cell phone lit up with Harry's name. Louis swallowed harshly, because he knew this was it. Harry knew now. Harry had seen that Louis' belongings were now gone.

He still didn't answer his phone, he was too scared.

He just stared at it until Harry's name went away. It wasn't long before it was lighting up again though and Louis felt tears welling in his eyes.

He knew he shouldn't feel guilty, but he couldn't stand knowing that he hurt Harry. That he was _currently_ hurting Harry. He put a hand over his mouth to hold in the verbal sob he knew was about to come. Louis' phone kept ringing as he stood, probably the fourth call he had received now, and went into the living room. He stood there, not knowing what to do. Liam turned his attention from the television to him in confusion and when he saw the tears, he immediately jumped up and ran over to Louis.

"Lou, Lou, what's wrong? What happened?"

Louis didn't answer. He just continued to stare blankly ahead at the wall. He could hear Liam getting more upset and frantic at Louis' lack of response, but he didn't care. He didn't want to feel anymore. He wanted to be numb. After a few minutes of Liam speaking to him, he vaguely heard what he thought was a knocking sound and Liam was patting his back comfortingly before going over to what Louis assumed was the door and opening it. He inhaled deeply and instantly caught a whiff of his Alpha. Except he wasn't his Alpha anymore.

He choked on a sob as Liam opened the door. Louis could see just a little bit of Harry. He looked absolutely wrecked. His eyes were all red and there were tear tracks on his face. His hair was a mess and he had a wild look in his eyes. Liam looked as though he was about to slam the door in Harry's face when he spoke. "Liam, where is-,"

He cut off as he took in a deep breath and his senses filled with Louis' smell. He cut his eyes passed Liam in a flash and landed on Louis. He didn't give a moment's notice before he was pushing past Liam and coming into the apartment uninvited.

Harry was speeding toward Louis and Louis could do nothing but back up a few steps before Harry was on top of him, smelling his neck deeply and scratching his teeth over the surface of his skin. Louis leaned his head back, baring his neck without thinking about it.

They stayed like that for only seconds before Louis was pushing Harry away from him and moving five feet from him.

"Louis," Harry choked. "Wh-what is going on? Why is all your stuff gone from our apartment? What are you doing?"

"I told you Friday, Harry. I wasn't kidding. I don't want to be your boyfriend anymore." The lie sounded bitter on Louis' tongue. It's not that he didn't want to be Harry's boyfriend, it just wasn't good for him to be Harry's boyfriend. Harry looked startled and Louis watched as different emotions flitted across his face before he settled on what Louis could only title absolute heartbreak.

Louis let out a sob and covered his mouth. Tears started flowing from their eyes simultaneously and Louis could see Liam watching apprehensively.

"Lou, you can't-no. This," he paused to take in a stuttering breath. "This can't be it, Lou. Please, baby. Please, I need you."

It was almost exactly what he'd said to Louis on Friday. Louis sobbed again before responding. "No. You don't need me. All you need are your drugs. I can't live this lifestyle. I can't live day by day wondering whether or not you're going to be sober. I can't live with you hurting me when you're not sober. I can't. You've hurt me, Harry. You promised you never would, but you have. You've hurt me and I can't do this anymore."

Harry shook his head. "No, Lou, please. I'll change, I promise. I'll get better for you."

"You've said that before!" Louis yelled in response, his tone hysterical. Harry flinched back, eyes wide at Louis' voice. "You'll never change, Harry. You're addicted to heroin, get real. You can hardly go twelve hours without a fix. I can't do this. I can't, Harry. I don't want to be with you anymore. I thought we would be forever, but we can't be. We can't. You're not good for me."

"Baby," Harry began to interrupt.

"No. You weren't good for me then, and you aren't good for me now. I can't be in a relationship like this. I need to be in a relationship where I can communicate with my mate and not worry whether or not it'll make them mad or if they'll even remember it in three hours. This will never work, Harry."

There was a long lull in the conversation. No one said anything for at least five minutes. Finally though, Louis finalized what he was thinking.

"Find someone who can stand to be around you and your drugs because that person will never be me."

At that, Louis turned and fled the room, going to his bedroom and slamming the door behind him. He pressed his hands to is ears to block out the noise of Harry smashing something of Liam's and the two of them yelling at one another.

**\-----**

Louis' life moved slowly after that. Every day was a struggle to get through, starting from the moment he opened his eyes in the morning. He had to will himself out of bed and to eat. He had to force himself to go to work at the coffee shop down the street. He didn't take pictures anymore.

His favorite thing in the world. Photography. He didn't even do it. Not anymore.

Harry had sucked the life from Louis. Louis didn't realize how big of an affect Harry had on him. He didn't realize that no matter how bad their relationship was, Harry was what motivated Louis to keep going. Liam said it was an over-reaction, said it was Louis' body crying out for its Alpha. Louis only half-believed him.

To top it all off, Louis was sick beyond belief. It had started about a week and a half after Harry had shown up at Liam's. He had been flipping through the channels on the telly when he'd come across an entertainment show talking about Harry's band. He'd gotten nauseous as soon as a clip of Harry speaking (Louis didn't hear what he said) had started playing.

Louis was up and in the bathroom vomiting his dinner back up mere seconds later.

He started to cry then. He was overwhelmed with the sickness and having seen Harry again, despite the fact that it wasn't really him.

And so that continued. He would get sick randomly throughout the day, and it seemed to be worse whenever he heard Harry's voice, be it speaking or singing. Louis was determined to let it pass, but Liam persuaded him to recognize that something wasn't right, which landed him where he was at this moment.

He was sitting in the waiting room of his doctor's office, Liam by his side. At first, Liam had been reluctant to go with Louis, saying this was something between him and his doctor. However, once Louis clarified that he wouldn't have to actually go into the exam room with him, Liam had agreed, if only somewhat weary.

They had been sitting here now for thirty minutes and Louis knew it was his turn next.

His thoughts were solidified when the nurse came back out.

"Louis Tomlinson."

He looked at Liam. "Everything will be perfectly fine, Lou. Don't worry. We just need to know exactly what is wrong with you." Louis swallowed and nodded at Liam's words before standing up and following the nurse to a pristine room down the hall.

She told him to sit on the table and took all his vitals after asking what his symptoms were. As he was telling her and she was writing it down, she kept side-eyeing him, scanning his frame from top to bottom and it was starting to frustrate Louis as more time passed.

"Okay, well I have all I need. Although, I do need you to pee in this cup. You'll see a little compartment in the bathroom to put it in once you've finished.  Once you're done you can come back in here and a doctor will be with you shortly."

Louis nodded, not using his voice because he felt as though he would start crying.

She smiled at him slightly before leaving the room and he hopped off the bed to go into the adjoining bathroom. He did what was needed of him and placed the cup in the aforementioned compartment. He went back into the exam room and climbed back onto the bed. He knew he'd be waiting for a while for the doctor to come in, so he made sure he got comfortable before he closed his eyes.

An undecipherable amount of time passed and Louis thought maybe he dozed off slightly. He was jostled awake when the door opened and the doctor walked in. "Sorry about the wait, Mr. Tomlinson," the woman said. "I'm Dr. Allizan. We were evaluating your condition and we've come to a conclusion. I want to run an ultrasound test just to be sure, but I can tell you now if you'd like, and then we could check."

Louis tossed the idea around in his head before he decided he wanted to know now. "Now, please."

"Okay," she agreed. She looked down at the papers in her hand and then looked back at him. "Congratulations, Mr. Tomlinson. You're pregnant."

Louis could swear time stopped.

 _Pregnant_.

Obviously it was Harry's. He knew without a doubt that it was. That didn't make anything easier for him. He knew that Harry's instincts would pick on something being abnormal. They would screaming at him to find what he didn't know existed. It would cause Harry emotional distress. But Louis couldn't tell him. He couldn't bring Harry back into his life. Into his baby's life. Not to mention that Louis didn't even have his own house and he couldn't burden Liam with a screaming baby. His job wouldn't help much and, in a panic, he realized that he was not at all ready to take care of this baby. But that wouldn't stop him from trying.

That seemed to bring Louis back into the real world and he saw the doctor giving him a worried look.  He had the decency to look sheepish. He looked down at his hands that were twisting around each other.

"Would you like to commence with the ultrasound now, Sir?"

Louis nodded slowly and laid back down on the table. The doctor wheeled the television like machine closer and asked Louis to raise his shirt and push his pants down slightly. He followed her instructions and then she squeezed a clear gel onto his stomach.

She flipped on the machine and grabbed what Louis knew was the wand. She placed it on his stomach and started moving it through the gel on his stomach. Louis watched the screen, but he couldn't decipher anything on the screen.

After a few minutes, the doctor stopped and pointed are a small white shape on the screen. "There you are, Mr. Tomlinson. That's your baby." She turned and smiled at him. He smiled back weakly and tears filled his eyes as he looked at the small baby on the screen. He knew the situation wasn't ideal, but he already loved this baby. He was extremely scared and he didn't know how he was going to raise it, but he was elated that he would have a product of his and Harry's love for the rest of his life.

"Can I have a few pictures printed?" he asked with a watery laugh.

The doctor nodded and pressed a few buttons.

While the pictures printed, the doctor turned back towards him. "Well, Louis. I don't mean to intrude, but do you have an Alpha?"

Louis' throat tightened instantly and it felt like someone had wrapped two icy hands around his heart and pulled. He assumed his expression was enough for Dr. Allizan because she was apologizing profusely. "I know you probably don't want to go on further, but since there is no Alpha around, I do need to warn you of a few things."

Louis nodded to show he was listening. "Since your Alpha isn't around, your baby, when old enough, will realize. You'll have to be extra careful once you hit around six months. Your body might want to reject the baby without the presence of the Alpha. Your baby might be more reserved too, less kicks, less movement without the Alpha. With all precautions though, we should be able to see to it that you have a successful pregnancy and birth a healthy baby in about seven and a half months."

Louis felt his heart sink at the words the doctor said. He didn't know that without Harry the pregnancy would be a lot more difficult.  

"Well," he said slowly, "what are the things I can do to ensure nothing happens?"

"As an Omega, it is in your natural instincts to nest. Nesting is a form of protection an Omega takes while pregnant, whether they realize it or not. The most common form of nesting occurs from the Omega taking things that belong to the Alpha who impregnated said Omega. Clothes are very popular. It is then that the Omega will find someplace they deem safe and they will build a nest out of the Alpha's things and lay in it or with it. The goal is to basically smother the Omega in the Alpha's scent. This will help with the pregnancy, but only if you can get your hands on some of the Alpha's things. Even if the Alpha isn't present, if you have his smell surrounding you and your unborn child, it'll help to almost trick, for lack of a better word, the baby into thinking it's father is around."

Louis nodded. He remembered hearing about nesting vaguely while in grade school. It didn't seem like much of a bad thing, because he knew he could get his hands on some of Harry's stuff.

He looked back at the doctor. "Anything else?"

"Other than some pills we're going to prescribe you, the best thing you can do is to try not to overwhelm the baby with the scent of another Alpha, because your body will try to dispose of the baby."

"Alright," Louis responded.

"I'll just go get your ultrasound pictures. Does five sound okay?" She paused for Louis' answer. When he confirmed that five was enough, she continued. "I'll also return with your prescriptions and a list of instructions on how and when to take them."

She left the room after telling Louis he could meet her out in the waiting room. It took him a minute to gather his thoughts before he was able to get off the table and exit the room. The walk down the hallway seemed miles long when in actuality it was only a few hundred feet.

When he entered the waiting room, Liam was immediately on top of him, asking a thousand questions a minute.

Louis shook him off. "I'm pregnant."

Liam froze on the spot. "Wh-what?"

"Yeah,"

"You mean... like you have a baby? Growing in your stomach? Like you're going to have a child in less than nine months?" Liam sounded as astounded as Louis felt. Although Louis felt a mix of about ten thousand other emotions as well.

"Yeah. I'm going to have a baby. In seven and a half months. It's Harry's. Of course it's Harry's." Louis' voice sounded robotic to his own ears. He felt as though he was working on auto-pilot. He was surprised he hadn't gone into shock over the news. Out of all the possibilities, he never imagine that this is what the outcome would be.

He had always wanted children with Harry, but after what had happened in the last year and a half, Louis had thought it would never happen. Sure, Harry wasn't exactly going to be around, but it still meant something to Louis. Because now, whether or not Harry knew it, Louis would always have a piece of him.

"Louis!"

Louis jumped and turned his gaze back to Liam who was looking at him with wide eyes.

"What?" he asked, voice wavering.

Liam gave a disappointed look. "What are you going to do?"

Louis furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean 'what am I going to do'? I'm going to keep it. It's my baby. It's my responsibility now. I made it, it's mine. And maybe I've only known about it for less than an hour, but I love it already, and I'll love it until the day I die."

"But - "

"I can do this, Liam."

There was long pause. Neither boys were sure what to say next. Just as Liam opened his mouth to say something, however, Dr. Allizan came into the waiting room with a packet of papers in her hand and a small envelope in the other. "Alright, here you are, Mr. Tomlinson. Just read through all these papers and your prescriptions should be ready in a few hours. Your pictures are in this envelope here and I hope you enjoy. If you could just schedule an appointment at the front desk before you leave, that will be all I need from you today."

"Thank you, Dr. Allizan. I'll see you soon."

Louis and Liam turned and walked toward the reception desk. He scheduled an appointment for his eight week check-up which was in two weeks. After that, they left the hospital and got into Liam's car.

They were both silent as Liam started the engine and left the parking lot. No one said anything for the first five minutes of the drive. It wasn't until they hit a stop light that Liam finally said something to break the silence. "Are you going to tell Harry?"

"No," Louis was quick to respond. He felt guilt stir in his stomach right after the words left his mouth. "I don't know."

"Walk me through it, Lou. Walk me through it."

"It's not that complicated really. He deserves to know, but then again he's bad for me and the baby. If he knows about the baby though, the Alpha in him won't let him stray so much as a mile away from me.  I'm not going to ruin his career either. I think it's just better for everyone if he doesn't know."

"Well, ultimately it's up to you. But don't forget that his instincts are going to pick up on something being wrong. He's going to realize there's something going on. Eventually, he will find you and he will find out. You'll have to face him. You'll just have to be ready."

Louis knew Liam was right. Liam was almost always right. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it, I guess."

Liam didn't say anything else and they continued on their way back to Liam's flat.

Ten minutes later, they were pulling in and Louis was getting out of the car before Liam could even fully turn it off. He didn't bother to wait for the other male either as he went straight up to the apartment. Liam met him there as Louis was toeing off his shoes and shucking off his jacket.

"I think I'm just going to go take a nap. Can you wake me in three hours so I can go get my pharmaceuticals?"

"Yeah, Lou, I can. Go take a nap."

"Thanks, Li. Thank you being there for me, thank you for everything." Louis' voice was barely higher than a whisper. He didn't hear Liam's response as he walked into his room, shutting the door behind him.

**\-----**

When Liam woke Louis up four hours later, Louis didn't even have the strength to be angry. He just mumbled incoherently and rolled out of bed. He gave Liam a light shove to indicate he wanted him to leave.

Liam shut the door behind him and Louis stripped. He walked over towards his dresser to get out new clothes, but he stopped when he caught his reflection in the ensuite bathroom. He stumbled slightly as he moved into the small room. When he stood in front of the mirror, he examined his naked torso. He couldn't tell that anything  was different yet, but he was already imagining what it would look like when his belly was swollen with Harry's child.

He smiled weakly as he looked down at his still flat stomach. He caressed it lightly, putting pressure on it sometimes. "It's just you and me, baby. Don't worry though. Dada loves you so much already, even though you're itty bitty. And I know Daddy loves you too, even if he doesn't know you exist. He will one day though, even if that does scare Dada a little bit."

He imagined feeling a kick in response to his voice, and then he suddenly couldn't wait to be four or five months pregnant. He couldn't wait to feel his baby kick.

His heart clenched when he realized that Harry would probably never get that feeling. His fingers ached to just text him, just let him know. He could see Harry's face in his mind. He could see the elation and protectiveness that would overcome him when he found out that he had created a life in his love's body.

And Harry could see it, too.

The room was around him plain. The walls were a light beige, the bed uncomfortable with a plain white sheet lain across it. There was a telly directly in front of the bed, and it was currently on. Harry wasn't paying attention to it though. It had been three agonizing weeks since he'd last seen Louis. The three worst weeks of his life to date, overwriting everything that had happened to him as a child.

He thought he would go through that ten million more times if he could still hold Louis in his arms and call him his.

Tour was supposed to be one of the most exhilarating times of his career. He was supposed to enjoy going on stage and performing for a crowd who came just to see him. He was supposed to look forward to every show and love seeing his fans. But now performing felt like a chore. He felt as though he needed to be dragged out there. He needed to motivation to do anything other than sit there and contemplate how his life went to complete shit. Harry didn't understand how his life was everything nobody wanted. He wanted to know why he got the fuzzy end of the stick.

But the last two days had been the hardest for Harry. Other than the feeling of missing Louis with his entire being, something else wasn't right. He felt like he wasn't supposed to be here. He should be somewhere else. He should be with someone else. He just didn't know what it was that was causing it.

He had noticed that he had been becoming more aggressive too. If someone got too close to him, he would growl menacingly. If anyone touched clothes that still had a faint scent of Louis on them, he went absolutely ballistic. He'd rip whatever it was out of whomever's hands. He could see the fear settling in some people's eyes and he swears that Niall almost pissed himself when Harry pinned him to the wall for touching the blanket Louis gave Harry after sleeping in it to rub his scent off on it.

Harry had immediately pushed the blanket to his face and inhaled to make sure he could still smell his love. When he could, he backed away from Niall with a lethal glare.

His chest ached constantly with the heartbreak of Louis being gone and something else. Whatever else it was, it made Harry's skin crawl. He couldn't stand the feeling. He found himself constantly scratching at places on his body, trying to get rid of the feeling, but nothing was working.

He felt as though most of him was missing from himself. There was a constant tugging on his heart, telling him to leave and go find something.

After a month of this feeling continuing, Harry was going insane. If he wasn't on stage, he was locked in his room with Louis' stuff scattered all over. He would inhale deeply periodically so he could smell Louis. His scent was calming, but it was missing something.

Harry thought that maybe shooting up would help to deter his thoughts from their near constant mantra of 'Louis, Louis, Louis.'

But the high didn't help, and neither did alcohol. It only served to make him feel worse, because he knew that if Louis could see him right now, he'd be immensely disappointed. He knew that they were the reason, well part of the reason, Louis had left him. He had tried quitting more times than he could count on two hands, but none of them had worked. Especially because he saw Zayn doing it. Whenever he saw the needle pierce Zayn's skin, his arm would start to ache in want.

He would try to push the feeling away  for as long as he could, but he usually didn't last more than one hour. So ultimately, he'd end up with a needle in his arm and Niall looking at him despondently. Harry refused to meet his eyes and would leave the room without a word.

After two months of the almost unbearable feeling, Harry thought he would die if something didn't fix it soon.

To further his frustration, he hadn't shot up, smoked weed, or drank alcohol in over a week.

He was constantly shaking and sweating. He felt weak and he didn't know what to do to bide his time. He usually ended up writing lyrics for songs, because that was one thing that he always focused on with a sober mind. Zayn had decided he would try to stop along with Harry because he wanted Harry to get better for Louis.

Zayn and Niall could see the toll everything was taking on Harry. They could see him physically deteriorating as the weeks had passed. No one was sure, but they knew it had been almost three months since Harry had last seen Louis. They could hear him at night, sometimes, saying Louis' name. Could hear him begging for Louis. Begging for him to stay.

It broke their hearts, but they knew there was nothing they could do other than be there to support him as he tried to better himself for Louis.

It was very rare that anyone could ever enter Harry's hotel room anymore. If someone so much as got within a two foot vicinity of it, they could hear Harry's growls emanating from within the room as a sign of warning.

With how much Zayn and Niall should have been seeing him, they barely even saw him for a third of that time. There was nothing that anyone could do though. An aggressive Alpha was a force to be reckoned with, and nobody wanted to brew that battle.

Harry's life went on though, even if he wasn't sure how days started and ended. He didn't know if he could differentiate between days now. Everything was just one big blur to him.  He was a shell of the man he used to be. He was a shell of the man Louis loved. Subconsciously, Harry knew that once he was back in Louis' presence he would be better. He knew that Louis would be the motivation for him to keep his clean streak.

When the days got hard, Harry would go with Niall or Zayn to prevent himself from getting the urge to shoot up or smoke. He had been going strong for a while now, and the symptoms were slowly lessening. He still shook and his pupils were dilated more often than not, but it wasn't as hard anymore.

He focused on the thought of Louis a lot, it made things better for him.

When it hit the two and a half month mark since his last shoot up and the sixth month mark of his last visit with Louis, Harry decided he couldn't tour anymore. He went to his managers with his thoughts, telling him that if he didn't go home right now, he wouldn't be accountable for his actions. They let him cancel the rest of the tour dates without much fuss due to the fact that they had seen how Harry had been recently. It may have also had to do with the glare Harry sent them.

They promised full refunds for the fans who would be getting a cancellation. They promised they would give Harry the time he needed. They promised he could return to England from Australia as early as the next flight.

So that's exactly what Harry did. Once he got off the phone with his management team, he was on the computer booking the next flight out of Australia. It was departing in five hours, so he gathered all of his things as quickly as he could and was checking out of the hotel room an hour later. Louis' blanket was tucked under his arm the entire way to the airport and it remained there as he picked up his ticket.

They only time it left his hands was when he went through security, but once finished, it was back in its rightful spot. He didn't drop it during the entire flight, it stayed pressed close to his face.

He thought he probably looked like a maniac to anyone who saw him, but he didn't care. He just wanted to get home. He wanted to get back to where he knew Louis' smell was still prominent. Time passed slowly as he exited the plane and left the airport. He figured the cab driver couldn't possibly go any slower, but when he threw a handful of twenties into the passenger seat, the vehicle somehow went faster.

When he made it in front of his flat, he could smell Louis' scent coming from inside stronger than ever before. He approached the door slowly, curiosity brewing in his mind. 

When he opened his door he was hit with the sweetest scent he had ever smelled in his entire life. It smelled like Louis, but there was something else mixed in that made it better than it ever had before. Harry could feel himself hardening at the smell and he let out a feral growl. He walked into the flat and followed the scent to its strongest point. It led him to his and Louis' old room and when he entered he knees buckled, and he almost fell to floor. The smell was overpowering all of his senses. The strongest points were the bed and in his closet. He checked the closet first, curious as to why Louis' smell would be so potent in there. When he opened the door though, he realized.

Most of the clothes he had left were missing. He knew then that Louis had been here. Louis had been coming over and taking his clothes. He had been coming over and laying in the bed. The smell of Louis was strongest on his side. Louis had been coming over and laying on _Harry's_ side of the bed.

He leaned down and pressed his face into the pillow Louis had been using. When he inhaled again, something clicked inside him. He growled and looked around the room for a threat and when he didn't find one, he settled.

His mind was working at a hundred miles a minute though. He was going through all the possibilities in his head as to why Louis smelled so much better now. The smell was making his mouth water and his cock had never been harder than it was now. Not even when Louis was in heat was he this turned on.

It was when Harry took one more sniff that he realized what was causing this. It was like everything made sense suddenly. The smell, the aching, Harry finally understood why everything in his life felt wrong.

Louis was pregnant.

No, he wasn't just pregnant. He was pregnant with Harry's child. Harry thought his heart would burst with love and affection the second he understood what was happening. He had made a life with Louis. Louis was carrying around his baby. He was swollen with Harry's baby at this very moment and he had been coming over to their flat to be comforted by Harry's smell.

Harry knew of the nesting that Omega's did when they were pregnant, and he knew then why his clothes were gone. He didn't care at all, however. He was too busy beaming with pride that him and Louis had created a life together.

Harry didn't know how he willed his body to stay where it was for so long, because when he shook his head to clear his mind, he was running in the direction Louis' scent was taking him. Now that he knew what it was, he could smell it all over the streets. He ran for blocks upon blocks following the mouthwatering scent of Louis, pregnant with his baby. He didn't know how long he had been running when he made it to a small house in a nice neighborhood in West London.

He felt slightly intimidated as he walked up to the door. Right when he got to the door, however, the smell intoxicated him and before he knew it, he was knocking on the smooth, polished wood, waiting for Louis to answer. Every second he had to wait felt like hours and he was about ready to break the door down when he finally heard the sound of the door knob being turned.

The sight he was met with made his knees weak and his jaw drop. Louis looked absolutely ravishing standing on the other side of the door in a sweater Harry knew was his, one hand cradling his swollen stomach. Harry thought he would start crying on the spot.

Louis looked nothing short of astonished.

" _Harry_?"

**\-----**

After Louis had started taking his prenatal vitamins, he could see and feel himself getting better. The nausea started lessening, but it always happened when he heard Harry's voice. Never once had it failed. He knew it was the baby responding the voice of its father. He had even the unfortunate incident where he had been at work making a coffee for a customer when one of Harry's songs starting playing on the overhead radio.

Needless to say, that customer didn't end up drinking coffee that morning.

It had been about a month since he had found out about his pregnancy and he was currently ten weeks along. He had gone back for his eight week check-up and had been told everything was going well and that he kept up what he was doing, he'd be sure to have a healthy baby.

He was happy to know that things were okay. He hadn't had many nesting urges at that particular moment in time, but every once in a while he would catch himself cuddling into a shirt of his that smelled like Harry and it was then that he realized he would need to go back to their old flat soon to grab a few of Harry's clothing articles.

Louis had been curious one night, so he had searched Omega pregnancies and nesting on the internet. Everything he read was basically what the doctor had told him except for one thing. The website he was looking at dictated that if he was a single Omega, then whenever he would come in contact with the scent of the Alpha who impregnated him, he would do almost everything in his power to bury himself in that scent. It was just a more excessive type of nesting where instead of making a spot Louis deemed safe, he just curled up in the scent of the Alpha no matter where it was.

After reading that, Louis had been nervous to go to that flat, figuring that something in there would set off that urge and he would end up moving back into Harry's flat without really thinking about it or wanting to.

He procrastinated going to Harry's flat for four weeks after that.

Every time he had the urge to nest, he would simply smell something of Harry's that he already had and it was enough to satisfy him for the time being.

However, once he went in for his twelve week appointment, things changed.

Dr. Allizan had just walked in and was setting up the ultrasound machine. Louis had already pulled his shirt up and his pants down slightly so that she would be able to maneuver the wand around his belly to the full capacity. Once the machine was set up, the doctor turned to him and smiled. "We're going to look for a heartbeat today!"

Louis' heart pounded loudly in his ears at the news. He felt a smile break out over his face and he wiggled in excitement. "I'll get to hear my baby today?"

He sounded unsure even to his own ears. Dr. Allizan nodded and applied the gel to Louis' stomach. While spreading it around, she spoke. "Sometimes you can start hearing them at eight weeks, but I normally don't try that because if the parents can't hear it, then they start to freak out and it's not fun to have a crying Omega and an extremely distressed Alpha in one room. "

Louis nods in understanding, coming to the conclusion that he probably would have done the same thing. Despite there not having been an Alpha present, Louis thinks he himself would have been enough to stress Dr. Allizan out. "Makes sense," he mumbled.

Dr. Allizan didn't say anything as she grabbed the wand and pressed on his stomach. She immediately started to move the wand around to search for his baby. It took her minute, but finally she pointed to the screen. "There's your baby! He looks very healthy, although I suspect your nesting urges will intensify from here on out."

"He?" Louis asked, voice shaky.

Allizan laughed. "It's just the term we use. There really isn't a way to know the gender right now, you'll have to wait around for the five month mark before we can observe that. Anyway, let's see if we can catch that heartbeat."

Louis nodded, swallowing. Up until this point, he hadn't really thought about the gender of his unborn baby. He had just been more focused on the fact that he actually had a life growing inside him. Now that he thought about it though, he thinks he would love to have a little girl with green eyes and curls like her father. Then again, he would love to have a little boy with his blue eyes and Harry's curly hair.

He knew he would be happy with either, and when he heard a quick, wet thump start sounding throughout the room repetitively, he focused his attention back on the situation at hand.

Once he registered what the sound was, it wasn't but seconds before tears were welling up in his eyes. His throat constricted and he felt total elation at that moment.

Heartbeat. His baby's heartbeat was resonating around the room. His and _Harry's_ baby's heartbeat. He started to cry more at the thought, picturing Harry standing next to him with tears running down his face as well, pride swallowing him up. He felt a tug at his heart at the thought, wishing nothing more than for Harry to be there right now experiencing this with Louis.

He felt like he was running on autopilot for the rest of the appointment as Dr. Allizan cleaned him up and turned off the machine after printing out some copies of his ultrasound.

After she handed him the copies and sent him on his way, he scheduled an appointment for the following month and then left the hospital. Louis got into his car and drove off. He didn't know where he was going exactly. He just drove around London aimlessly for a while. However, when he came to a stop in front of his old shared flat with Harry, he wasn't surprised.

He sat in the car for a good five minutes before he told himself it was time to get out and go in. He turned off the engine to his car and pulled the keys from the ignition. The walk up to the correct flat felt ages long, but was actually only three minutes.

Louis had the key in the lock and the door opened before he could blink and suddenly he was standing in the doorway of his old flat. He looked around cautiously before sniffing the air. He groaned at the smell of Harry's scent surrounding him and he was immediately walking towards their old bedroom where Louis knew some of Harry's clothes remained. When he walked into the door, he moaned again and cradled his slightly swollen stomach. He felt butterflies as he moved closer to the bed, which was in the opposite direction of the closet he was supposed to be going to. He walked up to what was deemed Harry's side and ran one hand over the comforter lightly. He smiled in content, his hand feeling warm instantaneously.

Without much thought, Louis found himself kicking off his vans and scrambling under the covers and into the bed. He pulled the duvet up to his neck and buried his nose into the soft, cotton fabric. He whimpered at the smell of Harry and curled his body into a smaller ball while also pulling the blankets close to him.

He smiled contentedly and nuzzled into the fabric again. He placed one hand over his belly and started rubbing softly while taking labored breaths in through his nose.

Louis wasn't sure how long he laid there for, but he knew he had dozed off because when he opened his eyes again, it was dark outside. He panicked slightly thinking he wouldn't make it out of there before Harry returned in advance to realizing that Harry was on tour in another country at the moment.

He laid there for only another minute before he reluctantly removed himself from the succulent smell of Harry.

He made a quick move of going into the closet and pulling down the three strongest smelling shirts before leaving the flat, making sure to lock the door behind him. He made his way to his car as quickly as possible. When he got in, he noticed his phone light up from its position on the passenger's seat and he reached for it.

Louis' lock screen was filled with a bunch of messages from Liam asking him where he was and freaking out. There was the stray message here and there from Harry that Louis never responded to, let alone opened. He sighed as he unlocked his phone and scrolled through the texts from Liam. Once he got to the bottom, he replied.

_Sorry, got held up doing something. Be home soon._

He sent the message off and locked his phone. He started his car and then was off, driving back to his and Liam's flat. Five minutes into the drive, his phone lit up again with the response from Liam. He didn't bother to look, focused on driving. But when the screen didn't turn off, he glanced over and saw his mom was calling. He had been so focused on driving that he hadn't heard the phone ringing.

He reached over quickly and pressed the answer key, putting the phone up to his ear.

"Hi, mummy," Louis said quietly.

" _Hey, Lou. How are you, baby?_ "

Louis looked around at his surroundings before making a turn, continuing his drive back to his flat. "Nothing, just driving back to the flat."

" _Yes, good. Liam was in a right state when you didn't come home from your doctor's appointment. Was calling me frantically wondering if you had come up here._ "

Louis' mum had been the second person to know about his pregnancy. He had told he about a week after he had found out. She had been positively elated, if not a little weary of the fact that Harry wouldn't be around. However, she had supported Louis fully as he told her he would be keeping this baby and raising it on his own. Now she just played the role of excited grandmother-to-be. "Yeah. I already texted him saying I was coming home. I heard the baby's heartbeat today and it made my nesting urges really strong. I ended up going to Harry's flat to get some of his shirts, but when I got there I laid down on his side of the bed instead and accidentally fell asleep."

" _Well, I'm glad you're alright. Try not to scare Liam like that again though, if you can. You know how he worries about you._ "

Louis hummed in agreement. "It's almost like he's my Alpha. It's unbelievable."

His mother was silent for a moment, and he worried he'd said something wrong. " _Yes, it is._ "

Louis' eyebrows furrowed at his mother's tone. She sounded somewhat reserved in her response and he wasn't sure why. It's not like Liam _was_ his Alpha. Although Liam was an Alpha, Louis knew he didn't feel that way about Louis especially since he was pregnant with another Alpha's baby. Even if Liam was interested in Louis, Louis' body would reject the baby, trying to find some way to kill it since it didn't belong to him.

Louis would rather die before he let anyone try and hurt his baby.

He and his mother exchanged a few more words before they hung up. By that point, Louis had pulled into his designated parking spot and he was walking up to the flat with Harry's shirt clutched tightly in his hands. He unlocked the door and entered the flat. As he was toeing off his shoes, Liam came running from the living room, meeting Louis at the entrance.

"Where were you?" he asked, his eyes wild.

Louis shrugged. "I was at Harry's flat getting some of his clothes. My body is nesting now, and I need more of Harry's scent to surround myself with," he explained.

Liam nodded solemnly at Louis before walking back into the living room again.

When Louis got to his room he stripped off all his clothes excluding his boxers and slid one of Harry's shirts on. He placed the ultrasound pictures on his nightstand for the time being and then he crawled into his bed with the other two shirts pressed close to his face. For the first time in months, he fell asleep with a smile on his face.

**\-----**

When Louis hit the four and a half month mark of his pregnancy, he had acquired ten more of Harry's shirts. Two of them were sweaters, and as it was slowly approaching September, Louis found himself wearing them more than the other shirts that he had.

He was also getting extremely antsy because he hadn't felt his baby move yet and he had read somewhere that you could usually start to feel them kick or move starting at week seventeen. He knew he was panicking too much though, because it was only week eighteen and his doctor had informed him that he may not feel anything for another month or so. All Louis wanted was to feel his baby move though. he just wanted to know his baby could hear him speaking.

He talked to his baby for half an hour every night before he went to bed. He usually just talked about how his day went and then he told the baby how much both him and Harry loved them.  He would always anticipate something responding, and he always fell asleep just a little bit disappointed.

Furthermore, by this time, Louis had moved out of Liam's flat. He lived now in a small house just outside of the main part of London. It was about a fifteen minute drive from both Liam and Harry's places.  It was a three bedroom house, one level. It had a master bedroom, which was perfect for Louis, with one more bathroom in the hallway. The kitchen was a nice size and the living room was big enough to hold ten people.

It was exactly what Louis had always wanted, and now with a little one the way, it was more perfect than he could ever imagine.

Liam came over almost every day after he finished his shift at the coffee shop so that Louis wouldn't feel lonely.

He had also started to take more pictures, his passion for photography coming back to him.

He took a picture of his stomach every Monday when he got back from his shift at the coffee shop. Since the camera he was using was a Polaroid, he had a large stack of pictures in his bedside table drawer. He had actually been taking them since he found out he was pregnant, and then would write on the back how many weeks he was.

He had just taken his week eighteen photo yesterday and the swell of his stomach stuck out four inches and to anybody who looked at him, you could tell he was pregnant. He avoided going out as much as he could though, because he had dated Harry, who was one of the most famous artists at the moment, and people looked for Louis constantly. He didn't need to be papped and printed on the front page of a magazine for Harry to see.

So to get around that situation, Liam ran most of his errands for him.

By the time he hit the day of his twenty week check up, he was practically bouncing around his house, waiting for the clock to strike eleven so that he could leave for his doctor's appointment to find out the sex of his baby. He was already dressed and ready to go in one of Harry's sweaters. It was the first week in September and the sweater wasn't ideally suited for the weather, but he didn't care. He was comfortable and he had Harry's smell consuming him.

An hour later, Louis was finally, _finally_ , sitting on the exam table waiting for Dr. Allizan to put the gel on his stomach.

When she did his heart rate increased greatly. He could feel it thumping in his chest as he watched her pull the wand out. "Are you ready to find out the sex of your baby, Louis?" she asked with a cheery voice.

"Absolutely," Louis breathed, sure his eyes were full of love.

"Perfect," she replied as she pressed the wand into his stomach. She flipped on the sound so that they could hear the heartbeat. "Healthy heartbeat still, I'm very pleased."

Louis smiled triumphantly, happy that he was keeping a good home for his baby to reside in for the time being. He focused back on the screen as Dr. Allizan halted her movement and hit the print button a few times. She smiled as she looked over at him. "Congratulations, Mr. Tomlinson! You're having a baby girl!"

Louis' heart soared at the news. Ever since he was little he had always dreamed of his first child being a girl. He dreamed of dressing her in cute little outfits with bows in her hair. He imagined her growing and wanting to put bows in his hair and his mates hair. His thoughts flashed to Harry briefly, thinking of how he'd always said he wanted a little girl to spoil rotten.

He smiled glumly for just a second and then thought back to the baby girl that was resting in his stomach now. He caressed the sides, which weren't covered in gel currently, in admiration for his itty bitty. He was in absolute awe of the situation, the reality of this coming to head.

He wrapped up his appointment after that and texted all of his loved ones 'IT'S A GIRL' with a bunch of pink and purple heart emojis.

Okay, so maybe he added bows and stars and a princess crown as well, but if anyone ever asked him he'd deny it.

A week later, Louis still hadn't felt his little girl kick and his was starting to think of all the worst possibilities. He remembered Dr. Allizan saying that his baby would be more reserved without it's fathering Alpha around whenever he had found out he was pregnant.

So now here he was, getting ready to lay in Harry's bed again, listen so some of Harry's songs and talk to his baby in hopes of getting a response from her.

When he was all cuddled up under the blankets on Harry's side of the bed with a new shirt wrapped around his torso, he unlocked his phone and scrolled to his playlist of Harry's songs only. He pressed shuffle and the first song started playing, Harry's voice floating around the room.

He put the speaker down by his stomach, wanting the baby to hear it as best as she possibly could.

Once the song got to the chorus, Louis placed his hands around his stomach and started speaking softly. "Hey, itty bitty. It's Dada here. I'm lying in Daddy's bed and playing Daddy's music because I know you love him and want to hear his voice and I want you to be happy and move around in there so that I can feel you. I love you very much, my baby. So very much. Can't wait to meet you really. You'll be so small, will fit so well against me. Daddy will hold you too one day, itty bitty. I promise. But I don't know when."

Louis paused his speech to suck in a big breath.

"He loves you so much, baby. He may not know you exist, but I know Daddy loves you. When he finds out about you, he'll probably cry. To be honest, Dada might too," Louis said, voice quivering. He could feel tears building up in his eyes. "Dada loves your Daddy, too. I really do love him, but he is not very good for me. We could not be together anymore. If we had had found out about you before we broke up, he would still be around. He wouldn't have left my side for even a second.

"Daddy loves me, too. I know he does. He really loves me. He cried when I told him he had to leave. He was very upset and it hurt Dada's heart to hurt Daddy's heart. Please, itty bitty. Please know that Dada and Daddy love you so much. Daddy loves you and Dada loves you. And we love each other. I just want you to be so happy, baby. I don't want anything bad to happen to you ever because you are the most special girl in the entire world. I think Daddy would agree. He just loves-,"

Louis cut off as Harry's voice came through the speakers, a long, high note. It was at that moment the Louis' baby kicked. She kicked once, twice, three times.

Louis burst into tears. He pushed down on his stomach where he felt it, silently begging for her to continue. He wanted her to continue because she was real. She was a real baby in his stomach, growing stronger and stronger every day, just waiting for the perfect moment to come out.  Louis was crying extremely hard.

She had finally kicked. He cradled his stomach protectively and kept talking while Harry's song continued to play. From that point on for the rest of the night, his baby would periodically kick or flutter or push against his stomach and a fresh wave of tears would come every time.

He was completely over the moon at the thought of his baby finally making a big response to his voice, to Harry's voice.

He decided internally at that point that he would go to sleep like that every night for the rest of his pregnancy if it meant he could just feel his baby kick.

And when he woke up the next morning, the tear tracks were dried on his cheeks and the music was still playing. But that wasn't what made him happy. What made him happy was that he woke up to the feeling of his baby pressing her tiny foot against the left side of his stomach. He grinned and pressed his face into the sheets, scenting Harry and pressed a hand back against her foot.

He felt her press back just a little harder and he thought maybe his grin would split his face in half. But he didn't care. It was the best feeling in the world knowing that his baby was in there, that his baby was pushing back against his hand. It was then that Louis knew that his baby knew who he was and that she loved him.

She was happy. Of course, she couldn't tell him that, but he just knew. He knew she was happy in there.

And when he told Liam the news later that day when he was back in the safety of his flat, huddled in a pile of Harry's clothes on his bed, Liam raced over to feel it for himself and almost cried when she pressed a hand against his.

"She's perfect," Louis whispered.

Liam nodded in agreement.

From that point forward, his stomach seemed to start growing at a more rapid pace, although he wasn't extremely huge. When it hit mid-October and Louis was in his twenty-sixth week, he had just finished taking the picture and was comparing it to that of week six.

The way his stomach had grown over the last five months amazed him, and he loved every bit of it. He was currently wrapped up in one of Harry's sweaters and he was wearing a pair of jeans which plush socks on his feet.

The sleeves of the sweater were giving him sweater paws, but he didn't care because that just gave him easier access to pressing the clothing material up against his face. He rubbed at his eyes as a knock sounded throughout the house. He yawned on his journey to the front door and as he got closer, he started to distinctly smell Harry.

He shook his head at the thought though, assuming it was just a strong scent coming from the sweater. However, when he reached the door, his baby gave a strong kick. The kick was stronger than any other kick he had ever received from her.

He smiled at the movement and cradled his belly as he swung the door open. He wasn't prepared for what was on the other side though. Because standing in front of him was Harry. Harry who looked a lot different from the last time he saw him. Harry who was supposed to be on tour with his band still. Harry who had clearly gone home already. Harry who had to have smelled Louis all over his flat and gone completely mental. Harry who's eyes widened and jaw dropped as he looked over Louis' frame. Louis' _pregnant_ frame.

Harry who now knew that Louis was pregnant.

And Harry who now knew that Louis was pregnant with his baby.

Louis was frozen on the spot as he choked out only one word.

" _Harry_?"

**\-----**

Harry growled after Louis spoke and he pushed his way into the house without consent and pressed himself up against Louis' body.

Louis unconsciously moved into Harry's body and Harry's arms wrapped around Louis. He pushed his face into Louis' neck and breathed in the smell. He moaned loudly and pressed his hips against Louis before growling out, "Mine."

The second the word left Harry's mouth the baby started kicking wildly. Louis could feel her moving around in his stomach and he thought she would kick through his stomach if she didn't stop. Harry's hands travelled from the small of his back to his stomach in record time and he dropped to his knees in a flash.

Louis was overwhelmed. In his mind he was saying 'no' repeatedly while his body and his baby were clearing disagreeing.

He heard himself purring before he actually realized he was doing it and Harry pressed his face into Louis' stomach. The baby was kicking right where Harry's head was and Louis could see the megawatt grin stretched across Harry's face. Louis was trying to detach himself from Harry, but it felt as though every time he tried to move away, him and Harry got closer.

Louis could hear Harry breathing in deeply, humming at the smell of the baby on Louis. Louis could also feel the light kisses Harry was pressing onto the baby's foot where it rested and every time he did, his little girl pressed back. Every once in a while Harry would mumble 'mine' again and the baby would send a furious kick his way.

Louis was crying. He knew it was a mix of happy and sad tears. He was happy that Harry was here and that his baby was happy and that they were all together, but he was sad because it hurt to see Harry. It hurt to see him because Louis still loved him and it hurt to see him because Louis wanted nothing more than for Harry to pick him up and carry him to bed and lay with him while playing with their little baby.

Harry moaned again and stood quickly, momentarily removing any contact him and Louis had, and Louis was emanating a whine before he had even comprehended what had happened.

But Harry was instantly pushing up against Louis again and he was sniffing at him all over.

"Baby, baby, baby," he whispered.

"Baby," Louis repeated.

He growled and then let out a throaty whine. "My baby."

"Yes," Louis cried. "Your baby. Only your baby. Will always be your baby. We made a baby."

Louis' mind was screaming at him, telling him this the worst possible thing to be happening right now. The Omega in Louis, however, was beaming with satisfaction. Harry cupped Louis' belly with his hands and nuzzled into his neck even further. He opened his mouth and bit down lightly on the mating spot and Louis cried out, nails scratching roughly down Harry's back.

Harry moaned in pleasure and went to bite down harder.

Whenever he did though, Louis came back to his senses and pushed Harry away as hard as he could, even though it didn't have much of an effect. "No," Louis commanded. That didn't do much either, as Harry was an Alpha. Louis would have been better off not speaking at all.

Louis forced himself to move away though and Harry looked at him dejectedly. He reached towards Louis again but stopped when he shook his head him. His little girl was moving around ferociously in his stomach and at this point it was actually starting to hurt him. He tried to rub his belly soothingly to see if she would calm down, but it only made her send out a lethal kick.

Louis cried out in pain and fell back on the couch, grasping his stomach. "Make it stop! Harry, please make her stop. It hurts, it hurts!"

Harry rushed forward and placed himself on the couch. He moved his face close to the swell protruding through the sweater. "It's okay, baby," he said gently. "I'm here. I'm still here. Love you, love you so much. Please stop hurting Dada."

She calmed instantly and Louis sighed in relief. Once he was sure she wasn't going to kick and move again, he pushed Harry away from him.

"What?" Harry asked.

Louis didn't meet his eyes. "What are you doing here, Harry?"

"Louis, please don't-,"

" _What are you doing here, Harry_?" Louis asked more viciously.

He saw from his peripheral vision that Harry looked down at his stomach. "Missed you. I missed you so much it hurt. I missed you so much I couldn't focus on anything other than the thought of you. Then I started feeling weird and I couldn't make it go away no matter what I did. I got aggressive and wouldn't let anyone near anything that smelled like you. Tried to get high to make the feeling go away because it was making me crazy. But the high didn't help, it only made me feel guilty. I was so guilty because I knew you'd be upset with me. So I stopped. Louis, please. I need you. Please. I stopped taking heroin. God, Louis. I stopped. I stopped all of it. No more drugs, no alcohol. Baby, I've been clean for two and a half months."

By this point Louis was crying. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. All of the times he'd asked Harry to stop had never worked. But this. This worked. He was dumbfounded by the news. Harry was clean. Harry wasn't even remotely influenced by anything in this current moment. It was a rare sight for Louis and he couldn't believe this was happening.

"How can I know that?" he asked.

"God, baby. Look at me. Can't you tell. I shake a lot. I shake so much it actually hurts. My pupils are almost always dilated. Although if they are right now then it's probably because you're smell is making it hard for me to not just cum in pants right here. It's really hard not to touch you right now. And Lou, dammit, if you kick me out, I don't know what I'll do. Fuck, I will probably go insane."

"This won't work, Harry."

"Louis, please," Harry begged. Louis looked at him briefly to see tears brewing at the edge of his eyes and it cut right through his heart.

"You hurt me, Harry. You hurt me when you promised you would never. I'm scared. You scare me. Maybe you're clean, yeah, but who's to say you won't relapse and be ten times worse? Who's to say you won't result to more than just pushing me. And with our baby coming into this world soon? I can't risk you hurting her, Harry. I can't."

" _Her_?" Harry choked out.

Despite what Louis had just said, he knew Harry would never hurt their daughter. It would go against everything an Alpha is about, especially Harry, who loved children more than he loved himself. He knew that Harry would never harm on a hair on her head. He'd sooner die than be the one to cause her tears.

But Louis was scared. He was scared that everything would go back to the way it had been. He was scared that nothing would ever be normal for them.

"Yeah, it's a girl."

"Louis," Harry began.

"No," Louis interrupted quickly. "Nothing is going to be fixed right now. To be honest, Harry, I love you so much and it scares the living shit out of me. Because after everything that you've done to me, I still love you more than life itself. But I can't just let you back in like this. I don't know anything about you anymore. You're going to have to work hard before anything can happen. Because I will take her from you. I will take her from you and you will never see her again. I'm not going to raise our child in a world where's she surrounded by drugs and alcohol constantly."

"No," Harry agreed. "Absolutely not. Never. Fuck, Louis. God, I'll do everything I can to prove to you that those days are behind me. Because these last five months have been the worst months of my life, and I love you. I love you so fucking much and I love our baby with everything in me. God, our baby. Louis, we made a baby and that makes me so incredibly happy and this is exactly the type of motivation I need to keep moving forward in what I'm doing. I'm taking a break from my career for a while. For a long while now that I know you're carrying my baby. I'll be out of that scene and I'll be focused on you and this baby. I want to be a good Alpha. I want to be the Alpha you're happy to be with and proud to show off to people. And I want to protect you. I want to protect you and love you and I want to do the same for this baby because you two are the most important people in the world to me."

Louis was silent as he cried. He never figured that Harry would say the things he did. It didn't change much, but Louis was overwhelmed with emotions. He felt distraught as he heaved in a large breath. He wasn't sure what to do anymore. He knew that Harry couldn't stay much longer, but he also knew that the second Harry left, both of them would be absolute wrecks.

He pushed that feeling aside though and rubbed a hand over his belly. "I think you need to go."

" _What_?" Harry remarked.

"I really think you should go now."

Harry sucked in a sharp breath. "Louis, I don't-,"

"Not forever," Louis reassured him. "Just... I think you need to go for now. I'll text you or something whenever it's okay for you to come back over."

Harry looked down solemnly. "I understand, baby. Please know though that if you wait too long, I won't be able to stop myself from coming over. And by too long, I mean like... a day. The thought of leaving you right now is driving me insane already and I haven't even exited the room yet, let alone the house."

"I know," Louis whispered.

Harry stood up slowly and offered his hand to Louis. Louis took it timidly and pulled himself up with the assistance of Harry. Louis was secretly pleased about the action as it got harder and harder for him to stand up every day. Once Louis was in an upright position, Harry pulled him in and took a deep breath through his nose which was placed in the juncture of Louis' neck.

Louis and Harry both hummed contently and Louis ran his hand through Harry's hair. Harry purred slightly before he dropped to his knees again for the second time in the last hour. He moved in towards Louis' stomach and placed both hands on either side before setting a kiss just above Louis' belly button.

The baby nudged faintly at Harry's left hand and he smiled against Louis' stomach. "I love you, my baby."

Louis' heart constricted and he thought he might start crying for the umpteenth time that day, so he tugged on Harry's hair to get him to stand back up. Harry listened and when he was towering over Louis again, he leaned down to press a light kiss to the corner of Louis' mouth. The gesture was thoughtful, but Louis whimpered. Despite how much he wanted that kiss somewhere else, he knew it wouldn't be a good idea.

Louis backed away from Harry a little, but Harry only followed his movements.

"I love you," Harry said into his ear quietly. "I love you more than you'll ever know."

Louis closed his eyes and turned his head away from Harry. When Harry let go of his body, Louis felt a push from his stomach, but he ignored it. Harry's exit was extremely silent, because when Louis opened his eyes again, Harry was gone, the room empty. "I love you, too," Louis responded, no one around to hear him.

Louis felt lost after that.

The feeling didn't go away for the rest of the day. When Liam came over, Louis barely paid a speck of attention to him. When Liam asked what his problem was, Louis just said he was tired. After Liam had left, Louis wasn't sure what to do with himself. He was restless beyond belief yet so tired. He walked around his house aimlessly for hours, never settling on one thing for more than twenty minutes. After his shower, he decided that it was probably late enough for him to speak to his baby and then call it a night. So that's exactly what he did.

Except that she didn't kick or move much at all the entire time Louis was speaking, but when he tried to fall asleep, she wouldn't stop.

Her kicks were getting progressively more violent the longer Louis laid there and he was unsure of what to do. Well, in reality, he knew exactly what he should do, but he didn't want to result to that particular fix. He ultimately decided he would just tough it out because she was a baby. She would have to get tired at one point. Right?

Wrong. An hour and a half later saw Louis laying in his bed staring at his phone. His contacts were pulled up and Harry's was glaring at him in the dark room. He kept questioning whether or not he should push the call button and every time he decided he should, he hesitated because he knew it wasn't a good idea.

Finally, he closed his eyes and pressed down on the screen in the general area of the little phone icon. When he opened his eyes his phone displayed that he was currently calling Harry. He brought the phone up to his ear, his hand shaking the entire time. He secretly hoped that Harry wouldn't answer and that he wouldn't have to deal with any of this. As he was getting ready to hang up, however, Harry answered.

Louis swore under his breath as Harry spoke. " _Lou? What's wrong? Is it the baby? Oh God, is she-,_ "

"She's fine," Louis intervened quickly. "It's just that... well, she, uh, she won't stop. Um. She won't like... stop kicking and it's really starting to hurt so I was wondering if, um, well, if maybe you could like... come over."

Louis held his breath as he waited for Harry's response. He didn't know he would feel nervous about Harry possibly saying no until he'd voiced his question. However, Harry didn't hesitate to answer. "Absolutely," he replied the second the question left Louis' lips. "I'll be there in ten."

"Okay," Louis whispered

"Love you," Harry said. Louis hung up.

Five minutes after Louis had ended the phone call he got up slowly to start his journey to the front door. He made it there just a knock came from the other side and he was quick to open the door.

Much like earlier in the day, Harry eagerly came in and was on Louis in a second. Louis' stomach gave a slight jolt as soon has Harry's hands came into contact with it, but after that everything was silent. After a minute without her moving around, Louis sighed in relief and slumped against Harry. Harry's arms wrapped around him almost on instinct and he starting walking towards Louis' room.  When they got there, Harry laid Louis down on his bed and Louis snuggled up into the covers. Harry went to move away and sit in the chair in the opposite corner of the room but Louis let out a loud whine and made grabby hands towards Harry.

Harry's eyes widened and he swallowed audibly, but he nodded and kicked off his shoes before going around to the other side of the bed and getting in. He was remarkably still, not sure what actions were good and which weren't. It wasn't until Louis pushed up against his side and threw a leg over him that Harry finally brought an arm around Louis and rested the other on the part of his stomach that he could reach.

Louis hummed in satisfaction. Harry's inner Alpha was extremely pleased at the situation he was currently in and Harry himself was inclined to agree. Louis purred very faintly as he started to drift off to sleep finally and Harry laid in the bed quietly in contentment. He watched Louis for an indecipherable amount of time before his eyes started drooping shut and he nodded off too.

**\-----**

The next morning Louis was awoken but a vicious " _what_?" resonating around his bedroom. He and Harry both sat up quickly and Harry didn't waste time pulling Louis to him as he growled at the impending threat to Louis and his baby. He scanned the room with fire in his eyes, and when they landed on Liam he snarled.

Louis looked on absolutely petrified of what was about to happen. He knew that Liam was about to come to the rescue and try to pry Louis away from Harry which would then result in Harry's retaliation of protectiveness and Louis was not in the mood to watch an Alpha fight. He knew though that if there were to be one, he wouldn't be able to intervene in fear of his baby girl getting hurt.

"Liam," Louis tried to say.

"Come here," Liam commanded.

A feral growl ripped loud from Harry's throat and he tightened his grip on Louis' waist, but not enough to hurt him or their baby. "Mine," Harry said menacingly. Louis didn't necessarily agree with the remark, but he didn't object to it either. He was too focused on sending Liam pleading looks asking him not to start anything. It wasn't working however because  Liam refused to break his gaze away from Harry.

"No," Liam disagreed. A low rumble started in Harry's chest at the words. "He's not yours anymore, he _broke up with you_. Leave. Now."

"Don't you _ever_ fucking tell me what to do. He's mine and this baby is mine and they will always be mine so back the fuck away." Louis stared at Harry with wide-eyed amazement. He was surprised he hadn't started a fight yet. Also, he was a little turned on by what he had said and by the tone of his voice. But no one had to know that.

"He doesn't want you anymore! Get a clue," Liam responded, his voice unfathomably angry.

"Liam," Louis tried to interrupt again, but to no avail. Harry had already lunged himself off the bed and towards Liam. Before Louis could blink, Liam was pinned to the wall, Harry's hand wrapped around his neck tightly. The other was pushing on his stomach. Harry was growling ferociously and when Liam retaliated with his own growl, Harry pushed harder on Liam's throat, cutting off the growl.

Louis whimpered as slick starting leaking from him. He didn't know his body could be this overwhelmingly turned on by Harry's protectiveness, and the situation wasn't ideal, but there was nothing he could do to help it.

In the middle of the two Alpha's slowly getting more aggressive, Louis let out his infamous Alpha whine and both of them instantly halted their movements and turned to Louis. "Harry," he moaned lowly.

Harry took a deep breath in through his nose and another loud growl ripped out of his throat faster than ever before. He shoved Liam out of the room with all his strength and slammed the door in his face, locking it. There was immediate pounding on the door as Harry ran over to Louis and pushed him onto his back on the bed. Louis whined again and Harry groaned into his throat. Louis rocked his hips up as best he could, but his stomach got in the way and he was whimpering again, high in his throat.

Harry flipped them over then. He was gentle about it, but before Louis fully understood what was happening, he was straddling Harry's hips. Harry pushed closer to Louis and locked their lips together in a heated kiss for the first time in months. They both moaned into each other's mouths as it got more intense. Harry's hands slipped under the shirt resting on Louis' torso and was pushing it up in a flash. They broke apart for the shirt to come off Louis' body and Harry took his off right after before connecting their lips again.

Louis frantically wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and pulled him in closer and Harry's arms went around Louis' waist, his hands dipping in to the back of Louis' boxers. He moaned and growled at the same time as he felt Louis' slick leaking out of his hole.

Louis whimpered and pressed back against Harry's hand. When Harry didn't move, Louis whimpered again. "Harry, _please._ "

Harry groaned and ripped at the material of Louis' boxers and Louis was suddenly hit with cool air when the destroyed fabric fell away from his body. He lifted himself up onto his knees to discard of the material as Harry worked on taking his pants and boxers off.

Once they were both completely bare, Louis sat back on Harry's hips and rocked forward on his cock. They both let out breathy groans and Louis guided Harry's hand back to his soaking hole. He pushed back against his fingers once he felt them rub against him. Harry got the hint and pressed two fingers in without any warning. Louis threw his body back against Harry's hand, the intrusion satisfying him slightly.

"Missed you," Harry growled out as he pushed another finger inside along with the original two. When Louis started to ride his fingers, Harry halted his movements and watched his fingers disappear in and out of Louis with a heated gaze. Louis moved around on Harry's slender fingers a few more times, whimpering loudly, until he decided he was ready and pulled off.

Harry took his slick soaked hand and rubbed it on his cock to lube it up before grabbing it and positioning it for Louis to sit down on. Louis didn't waste time and he was sinking down on Harry's cock instantaneously.

They both moaned loudly, the sounds reverberating throughout the room.

Harry was about to burst with arousal at the sight of a very pregnant Louis riding his cock. It was unfathomable how much he loved this, and he wanted Louis to always be pregnant from this point on. The sight mixed with the intoxicating smell of Louis was driving him absolutely wild. When Louis let out a guttural groan, Harry knew it was because his prostate had been touched.

The sound fueled Harry enough grab Louis' hips and assist him in moving up and down. Harry changed the angle slightly as Louis leaned back against Harry's propped up legs and it was the perfect angle to repeatedly his Louis' sweet spot. Louis screamed and ran his nails down Harry's back viciously at the sensation, a pleasured sob escaping as well. Harry knew there would be marks left over and the thought had him fucking into Louis even harder.

He could feel his knot expanding as he pushed in and out of Louis over and over again.

Louis was in ecstasy. Out of all the times Harry had fucked him, heats and ruts included, Louis had never been in this much pleasure. He wasn't in control of any sounds that came out of his mouth and his eyes were squeezed shut. The pleasure was so intense as Harry drilled into his prostate continuously. Louis could feel his knot expanding in him, and after the third time it caught on is rim, he cried out and came hardly, his vision going white.

He faintly heard Harry moaning and growling as his knot got bigger, but Louis was too dazed to notice.

It wasn't until Harry's knot popped and Louis felt pressure on his neck that he started to restore some semblance of reality. When he focused his vision on Harry, he noticed horror spreading across the boys face. Louis furrowed his eyebrows and twisted to see if there was something in the room. When he moved, however, a shooting pain went up his neck. He cried out and brought his hand up to the juncture between his throat and collarbone. He hissed in pain as it made contact and when he pulled up back, there was blood scattered across his hand.

When realization of what happened hit, Louis jerked violently and turned to look at Harry. Harry wasn't looking at him anymore though, instead he was looking down at Louis' stomach and his body was trembling just slightly.

Louis, who was unsure of his feelings towards the current situation, used his clean hand to direct Harry's attention to him. When Harry's eyes finally landed on him, he looked nothing short of ashamed and upset and it broke Louis' heart. Louis wouldn't be the first to admit that this was okay, because it wasn't. He wasn't ready for Harry and himself to mated, although he figured they would have done it at some point. He wasn't angry though either, and he hated how dejected Harry looked.

Harry expected instant screaming and yelling from Louis' mouth the second he made Harry look at him. He expected to be scolded up and down and then demanded to take them to the unbonding facility in London to fix the problem Harry caused. He did not expect Louis to grip each side of his face and pull him in to a fierce kiss.

He was frozen for just a second before he enthusiastically responding, more confused than ever before. As he licked at Louis' lips, he moved his face slightly and that was when he felt wetness on his cheeks. Worried, he pulled away to look at the boy in front of him.

"Oh, baby," he began, his voice barely above a whisper. "What's-,"

"I love you," he sobbed out, pulling Harry closer, as close as he could with his pregnant belly and Harry's knot still locked inside him. Harry was astonished at Louis' words. He couldn't believe he had just said them. He couldn't think of a time where he had ever been this happy in his life. Harry could feel tears welling up in his own eyes as he looked down at who was now his mate.

"This isn't okay," Louis continued, hiccuping. "It's not, it's too soon, I'm not ready for this. God, Harry. Fuck. I just, I love you so much, I do. An outrageous amount."

Harry wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't sure what would help make this chaotic situation better.

"I love you, too."

**\-----**

When Louis hit the eighth month of his pregnancy, Harry was sleeping in his bed every night of the week. Certain things were still rocky for them, and they were nowhere close to being okay. Louis still didn't trust Harry completely, and Harry understood completely. Their bond was running smoothly though. Ever since Harry had sunk his teeth into Louis' neck, their baby had been a lot more calm in his stomach, and it made days easier on him.

However, it was his thirty-seventh week and his baby did not have a name yet. Louis didn't want his baby to be born into this world without a name already set for her, so he was currently sitting on the couch, cuddled up with Harry while they brainstormed names. "I definitely want her last name to be Styles," Louis commented.

Harry's heart soared at the words and he looked down at Louis with a warm smile. "I would love that," he replied in a soft voice.

Louis nodded. "I think I want her to have a name that isn't common. I don't want her to have class with someone else with her name. I don't like conforming."

"I agree," Harry said. "I think she needs something unique to set her apart from the crowd."

"Harry, something tells me that would happen no matter what considering you of all people are her father," Louis said, exasperated. Harry rolled his eyes and pushed the thought aside, not wanting to think about it. He pulled Louis in closer in the mean time and starting going through names in his head. He was struggling to think of anything that wasn't extremely weird. "I really like the name Rae. Except I would like it more as a middle name."

Harry looked at Louis again after he finished speaking. "I really like that, Lou. It's pretty. Now we just need a first name."

"Actually," Louis said sheepishly, "I think I already have one, but only if you like it."

"Let's hear it then."

"Well," he said slowly, a long pause coming afterward. "It's Nolan."

"Nolan," Harry repeated, testing the name . He found himself liking it a lot. The name wasn't totally unheard of, but then again, it wasn't something you heard very often either. "Nolan Rae Styles."

Louis brought his hands together in a hopeful gesture, looking at Harry excitedly. The anticipation of what Harry thoughts on the name were was making Louis jittery. He wanted Harry to love it as much as he did. "I love it," Harry finally said. Louis sighed in relief and his body fell into Harry easily.

"Nolan Rae Styles," Louis said again. "Do you like that, itty bitty? Do you like the name Nolan?"

It wasn't but seconds after the words left his mouth that a sharp pain ran throughout his stomach and he felt a sudden wetness in his pants. Louis gasped in agony as he clutched his stomach. Harry inhaled, the scent of his baby stronger than ever before, becoming more independent from Louis' smell at every passing second. "Harry!" Louis screeched.

Harry jolted and grasped Louis' arm, yanking him to his feet as lightly as possible. "Fuck, Lou. She must have really liked that name. She wants it to be her name right now."

Louis laughed at Harry's word, but it was abruptly cut off when another contraction ripped through his stomach. "Okay, no time for jokes. It's time to go to the hospital and get her out." Harry nodded and they grabbed the already packed bag that was waiting by the door. After slipping on shoes, the two soon-to-be-parents walked out the door. Louis struggled to get comfortable for more than ten seconds in the car as Harry broke every road law known to man in his race to get to the hospital. Louis was gripping his stomach with one hand, the other clasped tightly in Harry's as they made the drive to the hospital so that they could meet their daughter.

Eleven hours later Louis and Harry were both bent over the sleeping baby swaddled in a blanket laying in Louis' arms. Harry was sitting on the bed with Louis, extremely protective of his little family. He had both Louis and Nolan contained in the circle of his arms and everyone who entered the room got growled at immediately, no matter who it was.

"She's so gorgeous, baby. We did so well."

Tears formed in Louis' eyes for the fifth time that day. "I know," he agreed. "She's perfect. I never thought I could love someone more than I love you, but she's proved me wrong."

Harry gave Louis a playful glare. "I resent that."

"You know I still love you more than I love life, so don't feel too bad." He looked down at the little baby girl in his arms. "She's extraordinary though. It melts my heart to know that she's mine. I never have to give her up or worry about never having her in my life."

"Both of you are mine," Harry commented afterwards. "And anyone who tries to take that away from me will have signed their own death sentence. I'll never let anyone hurt you or her. Nor will I let them hurt any that come after."

Louis looked up at Harry with wide eyes. "You want to have more babies with me?"

Harry groaned, the visual coming to mind. "I would keep you pregnant forever if I could."

Louis didn't say anything as Harry took Nolan out of his arms and put her in the bassinet provided by the hospital. Harry climbed back into the bed with Louis once he was sure she was safe and wrapped Louis up in his arms tightly.  He started humming under his breath, and after about a minute Louis turned to him with a questioning glance.

"What song is that?"

Harry thought that now would be the perfect opportunity to tell Louis what he had been doing over the last two months. "Well, it's a new song that I've written. Actually, I have a gig in Manchester in two weeks where I'm going to perform it for the first time. I really want you to be there."

Louis smiled at him and pressed his body closer. "Wouldn't miss it for the world. Nolan can come too."

Harry made a noise in agreement and snuggled in closer to Louis as they both fell asleep.

The day they left the hospital with Nolan by their sides was mass chaos. There was paps and fans scattered all around the hotel hoping to catch a glimpse of the new Styles baby. Louis had the carrier cradled close to him as they walked out into the swarm of people, but no one got anywhere close because the second they were within five feet Harry was letting out one of the most lethal growls Louis had ever heard from him in his life.

They made it home safely thanks to Harry and Louis was happy that they would be able to begin their family in the place where they belonged. After he had taken off his shoes, he walked up the stairs towards Nolan's nursery.

When he walked in, he examined the room for what felt like the one hundredth time. The walls were a light purple, white crown molding across the top and white, fluffy carpet adorning the floor. All the furniture was white as well. The crib, rocking chair, changing table and dresser were all beautiful, newly designed and specifically made for Nolan. Harry had wanted nothing short of the best for his baby, and it had made Louis extremely happy.

Louis looked down at his baby in her carrier and smiled when he noticed that her eyes were open. He walked over to the changing table and set her carrier down before taking her out. "Do you like you room, itty bitty?" he asked just as Harry entered the doorway.

They smiled at each other as Nolan made a quiet noise. "I'll take that as a yes," Harry laughed.

"Well, too bad," Louis replied, looking back at his baby. "You are stuck with me and Daddy for a while. You have to sleep in our room with us because you're just an itty bitty baby still and we need to keep you safe. And because we love you way too much to let you out of our sights, but no one needs to know that."

Harry finally walked into the room and up to his mate and his baby. He wrapped his arms around them as he looked down. "Love you forever," he whispered. Louis looked up at him and they both leaned, pressing their lips together in a gentle kiss. Their lips stayed together for several seconds, only breaking apart when Nolan made a happy sounding noise between them. They both laughed into each other's mouths and pulled away.

Harry took his baby from Louis' arms and gave him another small peck on the lips. "Go rest, love. I've got her."

**\-----**

When the night of Harry's gig arrived, Louis was nervous. He had dressed nicely and had Nolan already dressed in a comfortable onesie with earmuffs over her ears to deafen the noise of the screaming fans and the loud music of the concert. Harry was backstage preparing for his first concert in months after suddenly cancelling his world tour and disappearing.

Louis was sitting close to the stage, but outside of the vicinity of where the fans could reach. Nolan was sleeping soundly in her carrier that was in between his feet.

The crowd roared when Harry entered the stage and immediately started into his twenty song set. Louis sang along to every song while checking on Nolan periodically to make sure she was still sleeping and was content and comfortable.

When Harry finally got to his last song of the night, he spoke into the mic softly. "This next song is new. No one has heard this song before other then my band mates here. It's dedicated to the love of my life. I wrote this song during a bad period of my life and it's my way of expressing how I feel about the situation."

Louis was looking at him with his hand over his mouth, waiting for the song to begin. Harry looked over and made eye contact with him. "I love you, Louis. And I love the daughter you gave me. I'll never be able to thank you enough for her. You have made me stronger than I ever thought I could be, and after all the things I've put your through, I couldn't be more grateful that you're still here with me today. I'm so sorry for everything. I love you more than you'll ever know."

The music started playing and Louis was already struggling to hold back tears.

" _I'm not a perfect person,_  
_there's many things I wish I didn't do._  
_But I continue learning,_  
_I never meant to do those things to you._  
_And so I have to say before I go,_  
That I just want you to know:"

Louis was already completely taken away by the words Harry was singing. He could hold back the tears in his eyes by the time Harry had finished the whole verse. He was scared to know what the rest of the song would sound like, knowing it would be more meaningful than anything Harry had ever written before.

" _I've found a reason for me_  
_to change who I used to be._  
_A reason to start over new,_  
_and the reason is you._

 _I'm sorry that I hurt you,_  
_it's something I must live with everyday._  
_And all the pain I put you through,_  
_I wish that I could take it all away,_  
_and be the one who catches all your tears._  
_That's why I need you to hear:_ "

If Louis wasn't full out sobbing before, he definitely was now. He had always known that Harry was sorry for what had happened, he apologized for it every day, but he had never realized how tormented and guilty he had felt over the entire situation. As the chorus played through for a second time, Louis grabbed Nolan out of her carrier and stood, clutching her to his chest. He moved closer the stage so he was practically standing under Harry as he finished the rest of the song.

Once the last note died out, Harry looked into the crowd and thanked them for the night. Tears were shining in his eyes as he gave a final wave and walked off the stage. Louis hurriedly picked up the baby carrier that was still on the ground and took off in the direction of the door that lead backstage. He was let through without any problems because everyone knew who he was. He weaved throughout the endless halls backstage until he found Harry's dressing room. He all but crashed into the room and threw himself, Nolan still in his grasp, at Harry's body.

Harry caught them both in a white knuckled hug, practically squeezing them. "I love you," Louis cried loudly into Harry's chest. "I forgive you, I love you. I love you so much, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you."

Harry shushed him and held him tighter. "You've made me the best person I could ever wish to be. I'll never be able to thank you enough. I love you to the moon and back, with all my heart. I promise to never do wrong by you again. I'm in this for the rest of my life. You and Nolan are the most important people in the world to me and I couldn't imagine my life being any different."

"I'll stand by you forever," Louis replied.

Harry leaned down and kissed him hard, mindful of the now sleeping baby between them.

Harry pulled away and grinned proudly. "I'll never let you down."

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: [leedselouven](http://leedselouven.tumblr.com/).


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